Marriage Growth:

I’m a wife and I don’t have it all figured out. I have struggled to try to understand all that a wife is suppose to be. I’m the wife who is there for you, I cook, clean and do all the wifely duties but there has to be more right? Yes, there is more. What about what made you two fall in love? It’s not all about doing it’s being in the moment with and for each other. Working and praying together is important. Having conversations that will help you grow and learn from one other. Be in the moment with each other. Learn to appreciate the time that you do have. Make sure you’re making each other the best that you can be. I’m not the perfect wife but I’m learning how to grow in my marriage. It’s not about putting on a front that your marriage is great. My marriage has been through all stages, but we are committed to making it last. Marriage takes work and time. We work to make money but anything important should take work.

I’m learning:

I’m learning that there are things in this world that I shouldn’t really be worried about. I’m learning that my time is so precious and valuable to me. I have come to realize that the people around me mean so much to me. You have to value the company that you keep and the goals that you set. Well what more is there to ask for right? Well a lot trust me. I’m working on myself and it has been a slow process. I feel like I have come so far but not far enough. I would love to be further along but I know I will get there soon enough. I’m treasuring my words of wisdom that are given to me. I’m taking the time to be in the moment and not rushing to the next thing. I’m also realizing that you can’t help everyone. I’m learning to worry about myself more because I have control of me. No matter how great I want to be I first have to look in the mirror and deal with me. I need to make sure that I’m good everyday. As much as I would like to help everyone I’ve learned that not everyone wants your help or can be helped. Life is to short to waste time on things that don’t benefit you. It may sound cruel but it’s the truth. I’m a work in process as I always say. And I want everyone to always be there best no matter what. I’m learning to take care of me, because at the end of the day I matter to.

New Season 1:

I’m entering into a new season of change. See part of my season is leaving old things behind and saying hello to new things in my life. Worry, doubts, fears and things like that are no longer welcome in my life. I have been down long enough to know that I don’t want to be the same person anymore. And what I mean by that is I want to live a life that is rich and full. A life of meaning and joy. I’m tired of fear and doubt ruining my life. I’m doing the things that bring me joy, peace, and laughter. Life is way to short to be stressed out over little things and big things as well. This new season is full of change.

How much longer:

My heart is racing
I can’t slow down
This is worse than a merry-go-round
Dysfunction and chaos is all around
Why can’t you see your life is a mess
Your friends care nothing about you
And right now I’m feeling stressed
Open your eyes and see the life you were given
The choice is your’s are you done living
I can’t watch your destructive path
How much longer will this last
Are you going to live or just play this game
You only have one life, surrender or you’re gone
How much longer will this last
I say a prayer for you, but you only laugh
Destruction is where you are headed if you don’t change your ways
How much longer will this last
My prayer I hope it saves

It hurts:

It hurts to see what you have become
A silly little child a restless bum
I watched you grow from a baby to a man
And what I really don’t understand
Is where I went wrong
It troubles me so
You were on the right path
But now I don’t know
I don’t understand why you don’t care so much
Your life is so precious, but you don’t give a fuck
As a mother, it hurts me to see
What your life could have been
But now I watch what your life is to be

My Journey in marriage:

I see so many people laughing and smiling there way through life. And I wonder if the laugh and smile are genuine or are they making everything look good for the world? Well, when I look in the mirror I have to ask myself the same thing. This week was a tough week for me emotionally. My husband and I weren’t talking because we got into an argument last Saturday. So we didn’t talk and it hurt me because I didn’t know how to say what I was feeling. Honestly, I didn’t know how I was feeling. But it hurt because we weren’t communicating. Marriage isn’t easy and I see that a lot of people make it look easy. I’m learning not to say things when I’m emotional. I want to make sure that my words are full of love and respect. We are talking now and have made up. But what I’m trying to say is that my words use to be out of anger and payback. I’m learning to choose my words carefully because words have power. I never want to destroy anyone with my words. So I’m learning to let my words be better. I want to speak life over people. I want my marriage to grow and if you want to grow anything then you must water it and speak life in the situation. You won’t see results right away, but I’m positive that you will see results within a week.

Summer days:

Some days I remember just like it was June
The sky was bright and so was the moon
My days as a kid was so carefree
I felt I could fly and just be me
But as the summer ended
And a season appeared
I could always count on
The bright sky and the stars being so clear