My weekend:

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

I must say that my weekend was great. We didn’t do anything at all. I live in the DFW area so Friday there were storms, tornadoes, and hail in some areas. Then on Saturday morning, we had some snow. I was truly excited about the snow because I’m from the Midwest and it doesn’t snow here in Texas. But one of my favorite things about this weekend is the talks that my husband and I had. It was so nice to be able to open my heart and let him know how I was feeling. It made me feel closer to him. I’m learning that people do care about how you feel and what you say. You just have to give them a chance. It was nice to hear my husband say that I’m communicating better with him about my feelings. I’m on this journey to get better as a person, one day at a time. How was your weekend?

Betrayal:

Betrayal can come in all types of forms. It can be a betrayal of a friend, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend or employer. I’ve never felt more hurt then I did with the company that I use to work for. How could I have put my trust in them, just to be betrayed? I worked for this company for almost two years and I felt like people where genuine, but it all changed when my co-worker got fired. It felt like certain people changed toward me. All along I felt like they understood me and cared for me. But in reality, they didn’t. As soon as I put in my two weeks’ notice the girl that they fired they asked her to come back. A true shocker to say the least. I don’t understand how you say we have a zero-tolerance policy workplace but then hire her back??? And the bad part about it was the fact that people thought that I didn’t know. Oh, they showered me with kind and loving words. But little did they know that I already knew. I was hurting but I never took it out on them. I came in and did my job and made sure everything was good before my last day. But the fact that no one had the respect to let me know told me all that I needed to know. You are easily replaceable. You’re not as important as you thought you were. I worked hard every day doing the right thing but only to be betrayed like this. It hurts but in the end, I know that I made the best decision for me. This a huge learning moment. There are people who I knew were genuine and only want the best for me. And then there are those who don’t really care. I don’t wish them ill will. I wish them much success. This moment has made me better. I’ve grown up a lot because I would never have had peace to be able to pray for them and wish them the best. I know that in the end, I will be okay. I’m glad to be growing and learning important life lessons.

Thankful: Day 10

I’m thankful for my healing. See I have been through so much within the past several months. And I’m finally beginning to heal from all the hurt that was done to me. I held on to the hurt long enough. I’m thankful for the hurt that has to lead to healing. There is a process in all this and I’m thankful. This healing process is going to belong and it’s going to be needed to make me a better me. There are always blessings in lessons. You just have to want to learn them. I’m thankful for this time to heal. I’m going to be better than I was before.

Thankful Day 2:

I’m thankful for my husband. To be honest he is my rock. Words can’t describe how much I love him and how much he means to me. My husband is a quiet and laid back man. When I need advise his wisdom and knowledge give me strength. He believes in me like no other. His support of his family is priceless. See my husband is a very creative soul. He introduces me to new music, food, and some awesome adventures. Trust me there is never a dull moment with him. He’s not the most affectionate guy, but what he gives me in return is priceless. I just want him to know how thankful I am for him. Never give up on your dreams and know that you will always have a best friend in me. I will always be here to bounce ideas off of, to laugh with and to get on your nerves. Yes, I said get on your nerves. Know that God has something so special in store for you that he is preparing you for a time like this. Don’t worry about people who don’t support your dreams or don’t understand you. Keep embracing and loving the people that do. God is going to bring some amazing, long-lasting friendships your way. Know that everything that you have been through is setting you up for nothing but greatness. Teach others to never give up and let them know where you come from and have been through. Know that you are a blessing to everyone that you come in contact with. You may not see it but they do. Know that you are someone special and continue to hold your head up high and know that you are loved. Thank you for being you and always being here for the ones that need you the most. Thank you for 9 years of marriage. It hasn’t always been easy but the journey has been fun. Embrace your truth, love, and happiness. You are truly a gift from God. Thankful for you in my life.

My Superhero:

I don’t think you know just how much you mean to me. You’re more like a superhero that’s not in my dreams. I can’t believe your my husband you’re like a dream come true. Your my superhero who’s not just in my dreams. I love you more than you know. Where would I be and what would I do? God only made one of you. I’m glad He blessed me with a man like you. Your more than I could have dreamed of. What can I say and what can I do? I’m just blessed that God gave me you. You’re more than a husband your my personal superhero.

My inner me is my enemy:

Interestingly, I’m my own worse enemy. My inner me is my enemy. I doubt myself and let myself down daily. Why? Because I listen to the voices of others. I know my worth and dedication so why do I listen to others? I’m not sure. But I’m going to work on that. I doubt myself often because there are so many people who are better than me in so many areas. I don’t necessarily see myself in the best light. I find myself comparing myself to others. I find myself listening to outsiders. I don’t listen to the voice of God or my inner self. I have a lot of distraction that fills my day. I had to step back and realize that a lot of the distraction that I was hearing wasn’t positive. People don’t always wanna see you succeed or even grow. They like to see you down and doing nothing with your life. I had to take a deep look at my distractions and one thing that they had in common was the fact that their lives were miserable. They were not living to their fullest potential at all. No matter how happy I was they would find some way to bring me down. I had to take a better look at myself and say to myself girl you are so better than this. You need to not let people stand in your way of what God has for you. Nothing good comes from miserable people. I’m working to quiet the distractions in my life and not let people take from me what God has for me. I’m working on me to be a better me. My inner me will not be my enemy anymore. I won’t let my doubts and fears distract me anymore. I will speak life into my life. I will encourage myself daily and remind myself I can do anything that I set my mind to. My inner me will not be my enemy anymore.

Marriage Growth:

I’m a wife and I don’t have it all figured out. I have struggled to try to understand all that a wife is suppose to be. I’m the wife who is there for you, I cook, clean and do all the wifely duties but there has to be more right? Yes, there is more. What about what made you two fall in love? It’s not all about doing it’s being in the moment with and for each other. Working and praying together is important. Having conversations that will help you grow and learn from one other. Be in the moment with each other. Learn to appreciate the time that you do have. Make sure you’re making each other the best that you can be. I’m not the perfect wife but I’m learning how to grow in my marriage. It’s not about putting on a front that your marriage is great. My marriage has been through all stages, but we are committed to making it last. Marriage takes work and time. We work to make money but anything important should take work.

I’m learning:

I’m learning that there are things in this world that I shouldn’t really be worried about. I’m learning that my time is so precious and valuable to me. I have come to realize that the people around me mean so much to me. You have to value the company that you keep and the goals that you set. Well what more is there to ask for right? Well a lot trust me. I’m working on myself and it has been a slow process. I feel like I have come so far but not far enough. I would love to be further along but I know I will get there soon enough. I’m treasuring my words of wisdom that are given to me. I’m taking the time to be in the moment and not rushing to the next thing. I’m also realizing that you can’t help everyone. I’m learning to worry about myself more because I have control of me. No matter how great I want to be I first have to look in the mirror and deal with me. I need to make sure that I’m good everyday. As much as I would like to help everyone I’ve learned that not everyone wants your help or can be helped. Life is to short to waste time on things that don’t benefit you. It may sound cruel but it’s the truth. I’m a work in process as I always say. And I want everyone to always be there best no matter what. I’m learning to take care of me, because at the end of the day I matter to.

New Season 1:

I’m entering into a new season of change. See part of my season is leaving old things behind and saying hello to new things in my life. Worry, doubts, fears and things like that are no longer welcome in my life. I have been down long enough to know that I don’t want to be the same person anymore. And what I mean by that is I want to live a life that is rich and full. A life of meaning and joy. I’m tired of fear and doubt ruining my life. I’m doing the things that bring me joy, peace, and laughter. Life is way to short to be stressed out over little things and big things as well. This new season is full of change.

How much longer:

My heart is racing
I can’t slow down
This is worse than a merry-go-round
Dysfunction and chaos is all around
Why can’t you see your life is a mess
Your friends care nothing about you
And right now I’m feeling stressed
Open your eyes and see the life you were given
The choice is your’s are you done living
I can’t watch your destructive path
How much longer will this last
Are you going to live or just play this game
You only have one life, surrender or you’re gone
How much longer will this last
I say a prayer for you, but you only laugh
Destruction is where you are headed if you don’t change your ways
How much longer will this last
My prayer I hope it saves