Let me just rant a little bit. One thing about me is that I keep it real. This blog is about growth and I tell about what’s happening with me. I love feedback and comments. Except when people email me about me being too personal and honest about my life. Well, this is my blog and I will always be honest. If you don’t like it then please don’t read my blog. I know that others are dealing with or have dealt with what I’m going through or went through. I love it when people encourage me, tell me their stories, and just understand. I understand that for some people this may seem weird or not necessary but as I said this is my blog. I want to have a conversation with the readers. If my life and truth are too much for you to handle then please don’t read my blog. I just needed to get this out. Have a great day.

I’m learning things about myself daily, and one thing that I have learned is that I’m letting my past control me. I learning that I can’t be a good wife until I release my past. I hold back when it comes to love, compassion and giving my all. I have been hurt so much that I don’t want to give my all to anyone. And it shouldn’t be that way. I have let them pass relationships haunt me and build a wall up where I can’t give my all. I’m struggling with this but I am taking steps that are helping me to deal with my issues. It won’t happen overnight but I know that the first step is to deal with the hurt and pain. I need to learn to open up more but right now I can’t.

As we are living through our new normal it’s nice to see people pick up new skills and passions that they had forgotten about. It’s nice to see people giving back. But it’s sad to see that what was done in the dark is coming to light for some relationships. There is a rise in domestic violence, verbal abuse, and mental abuse. When we get back to the way things were it’s going to be sad because the divorce rate is going to be high, children are going to be taken out of homes for child abuse. This isn’t what God wants from us. Have you ever prayed that you can spend more time with your family? Now you have the chance. Have you prayed for God to give you a new job? He will. Have you ever prayed to know your purpose and passion? So now you’re discovering it. We all need to rest, we all need to be closer to God and we all need to do the best that we can. I’m not coming out of this the same, there are things that will and have changed in me. What I’m trying to say is this even though things are bad doesn’t mean that you have to look at it like your life is over. No look at it as God giving you rest and doing amazing work in your life. It’s time to do better and learn what’s really important. I know we are all tired of being at home but it’s better than being in the hospital sick or dead. Make the best of something that’s not the best right now.