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2020 has been very interesting to say the lease. But right now I feel so confused about people who are making decisions. Am I the only one feeling this way? I live in Texas and COVID is spreading here really bad. So how do we stop the spread? I honestly feel like a stay at home order is needed again. But that won’t happen because I know that people need their jobs. But how do we really get it under control? I’m unemployed and starting July 6th I have to submit that I’m looking for work. But the crazy thing is that a lot of places are not hiring and if they are then they only need you for a month or less and then what? Your back in the same situation you were in before. It’s overwhelming to say the lease. Why does the governor have to make it mandatory to wear a face mask when going out??? Come on people where is your common sense? We should have been doing this anyway. The first wave isn’t even over yet and it’s still bad. My anxiety is all over the place, to be honest. A friend of mine found a job and went to work for one day and come to find out 2 people had COVID. This is truly scary, to be honest. Am I the only one taking this seriously or should I just calm down and think it’s not a big deal? Because to me, this is a big deal.

Love over hate:

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As 2020 is in full effect what I can’t understand is why we still have hate for one another. We hate someone’s color, we hate people’s hairstyles and we hate other people’s sexual orientation. So much hate in this world. We can cure hate with love. Have you ever stopped to talk to someone who is a different color than you? Have you ever talked with someone who is in a same sex marriage? Have you ever thought why do I hate this person? Why do I hate that they are not like me? Is hate taught? Are we all not lovable? It hurts my heart that people are hated for things like not being social, to thin, too fat, too tall, not light enough, don’t have enough money and other dumb things. I may not like certain things about people but what I won’t do is talk down about them and make them feel less than. We are all in this world trying to figure out life. We need to take a look in the mirror and ask yourself why do I hate people? Is it them or is something else going on within me? I pray that one day we will get over ourselves and start loving ourselves and love other people. So please stop the hate and start to love. Love over hate.

My two cents:

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I’ve noticed that so many people are so interested in places opening back up more than they are about growing. Are you different since the coronavirus happened or are you the same? Some people are still the same, they don’t care about anything but going to the bars, clubs and other places just because. If you can’t put anything on social media to make it look like your living your best life, then people will assume that your not. I’m living my best life growing. This is the time that we shouldn’t take anything or anyone for granted. We need to be prayed up and make sure we are bettering ourselves. Too many people are okay with staying the same no matter what. But why? At some point you have got to know that what you are doing isn’t making you any better. When do we take a look in the mirror and reflect on ourselves? I had to go out to the store today and I’m noticing people buying things that are not necessary. I can’t make people notice that you only have one life and living it the best you can is more important than buying beer and cigarettes. We have to do better to be better. This is just my two cents take it for what it is.

Thinking out loud:

Yesterday was harder than I imagined that it would be. She just returned books, laptops, and picked up a cap and gown. Just imagine what next Saturday is going to be like. But it got me to thinking what do I do now? All three of my children are grown. So now it’s hubby and me. But what do I do with myself? I’m used to running around with my daughter to events and stuff like that. Now I will have time on my hands. I’m like you will have more time to work on your book, you will have more time to relax. But is this all that I am? Is this what I’m meant to do after all the kids are gone? Do I have nothing left to give or offer? This next season of life is truly stressing me out. I know that I shouldn’t be that concerned about it but I am. I know there will be more time with the hubby and travel and stuff like that but I feel like I was created for more to do more. Just thinking out loud. Maybe I am thinking too much into it.


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Today’s a little tough for me because even though we are going through this coronavirus life is still happening. My daughter has to turn in all her stuff at school and pick up her cap and gown today. I’m an emotional wreck, to say the least. Next Saturday she get’s to walk for her graduation and then just like that I’m an empty nester. Where has the time gone? I’m overwhelmed with joy and sadness. I’m so proud of her so far she has gotten two scholarships and she’s getting two cords for graduation. I feel like I’m dizzy with happiness. And then it’s on to college or more like online college for the time being. But I’m so proud of her. She is in a new season of life and so am I. I have all types of emotions going through me but I know that she will do fine in the world and me well I have to find what I want in this second season of life. Anyone an empty nester? Any advice for me?

Book review:

I love reading books that will help me with my growth as a person and also in my Christian walk. This book did both for me. It made me think about things differently and doing things differently. This book made me realize that my purpose is just as important as anyone else’s. I never thought my purpose was that important, to be honest. But God created us to be different and do things differently. This is a book that I would recommend to anyone who wants to live there life on purpose. This book also helps me make the most of my day count. I have been slacking when it comes to things that I need to do. I’m very motivated to make the most of my day count. If you have read this book please let me know what you think.

Real marriage talk:

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So I always want to practice what I preach. So for me, it’s how do I want to be treated? I’ve started treating my husband how I want to be treated. His love language is words of affirmation and gifts. So today I went and got him a toolset. He has been wanting and needing one but they are so expensive. But I got a good deal on a toolset and surprised him with it today. I love to show love through physical touch and doing things for others. My husband isn’t the mushy type of guy which is fine, so I have to do things that I know will speak to him. I love surprising my husband with gifts because the look on his face is priceless and it shows me how much he cares. My love language is acts of service and physical touch. If you wash dishes or give me hugs and kisses well I’m the happiest woman in the world. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. I’m not hard to please at all. I know that the only way that my marriage will improve is if I take the first steps to make it better. If you want your marriage to be better think of your spouse’s needs before your own. Trust my marriage is about two people, not one.

Letting go:

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This morning I woke up with an attitude because I couldn’t sleep last night. So I got up and went walking and just enjoying the weather this morning. I had to take time to think about what was going on with me. And it came down to me just needing to let things go in my life and not worrying about things that I have no control of. Walking helped me understand and break down my issues. Just getting out of my apartment and having time alone was so much needed today.

I don’t understand:

So Texas is opening up some business tomorrow, and I for one am not okay with this. I can understand that people are tired of being at home, but I would rather stay at home than end up in a hospital and could possibly die. How is going to the movies, bowling or the mall that important? So we would rather cater to people who whine about what they want but when they get sick and possibly die then the family wanna get mad. Please, people, let’s us some much needed common sense. It’s not that important to get out now, your putting yourself and others at risk. I’m just not okay with this.

A love poem:

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I’m afraid of this love that I have for you
It feels like it just came out of the blue
You set my heart and soul on fire
Your love is only my one true desire
We were just friends then we turned into lovers
It felt like we had always known one another
My heart aches when you’re not around
My feelings are actions what more can I say
I show you how much I love you in every possible way
I’ve never felt like this before
A love so untrue what more could I hope for
What more could I ask
I finally have found true love at last