Just a thought:

I’m failing to understand how people are more important in death then they are in life…….

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Shutting down:

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For some strange reason, I felt like when 2020 arrived I would get it together. But I haven’t. I took a long hard look at myself this morning and there was a sadness that I have never seen before from me. Why am I so sad. What’s going on. I had to ask myself this tough question. I feel like I’m shutting down from life. I don’t want to deal with my marriage, I’m too embarrassed to talk about how I feel to others. I know every married couple has had issues before. But for me, I don’t know how to repair what is broken. To be honest I don’t even know where to start. I want to avoid conversation with my husband. I just want to be left alone because I don’t have any answers on how to deal with our issues. I know for some your thinking well that’s the problem you’re not talking. Maybe or maybe not. But I feel like my heart is shutting down and I just don’t want to deal with the issues anymore. I need to understand why I’m shutting down, but right now I have no clue.