Last post for the year:

Well, this will be my last post for the year. Let’s recap 2021, shall we? We all have been dealing with this pandemic and so many people have died from it. I’m not gonna lie this pandemic had me depressed for a while. It just felt like nothing was going to change. But this pandemic has been a blessing in disguise because it has helped me focus on myself and to start my healing process. The job search was very overwhelming. So many people claimed to be hiring just to hear that you are overqualified it left me hurt and wondering if people were really looking to hire. Then once I got a job it didn’t turn out to be what I hoped it would be. Never will I be okay with the lack of respect just so that I can say I have a job. So I have been jobless ever since. I’m not giving up hope that I will get one. I’m just over the email saying overqualified and we need someone with more experience. Not only that I have two new grandchildren. I can’t believe that I’m a Gigi, this has taken a whole new level for love. My daughter’s birthday was Sunday and it’s crazy to think that all my children are in their 20’s. There was so much that I was hoping to accomplish this year that didn’t even happen. But I’m grateful for what has happened. I’m grateful that I found an amazing counselor who is helping me work on myself. I’m growing and understanding myself more. I have so many things that I want to accomplish and I know that they will happen. I have to be okay with where I am at and look at this as a blessing. I’m greater is coming and I claim that. I hope your 2021 was good and that your 2022 will be even better. Have a safe and Happy Holiday season and a beautiful New Year.

Same season:

Photo by George Shervashidze on Pexels.com

Thank you everyone for the anniversary love. We greatly appreciate it. As life takes us on adventures I find myself in a season that I have been in before. I have always felt that seasons are learning lessons for the person that is going through them. But I’m starting to wonder if this lesson is teaching me that I need to let go? I have been here before but a different year and things were different. But this season that is replaying in my life had me in tears daily and well it taught me some very hard valuable lessons. But now I feel like the season is teaching me to let go because it’s not about me anymore. Sometimes in your life, you have to let people go so that they can stand on their own two feet. You have to let them grow, make mistakes, and learn valuable lessons. As hard as letting go is for me I find it peaceful in this season. I have to trust God and the process. I have to understand that it’s bigger than me. I have understood that the seed has been planted and watered. I am ready to see what my harvest is about to produce. This season is like another I have been in but I know that this season will be better than what I have been in before.

Changing seasons:

We all make our own choices in life. Some of the choices that we make are either good or bad. But life is full of choices and decisions that have to be made. I have made more decisions in my life that were based on other people than on myself. And I had to look myself in the eye and say is this how you want to continue your life? You want to make decisions that will make everyone else happy or you happy? I had to have a tough conversation with myself this year. And let me tell you it wasn’t pretty but I was honest with myself about what I wanted and what I wasn’t about to tolerate in my life anymore. I have always based my life around other people and their happiness and comfort level. Well, let me tell you I’m done with that. I’m in my 40’s and your comfort level doesn’t have anything to do with mines. I’m done entertaining negativity because it’s draining and I don’t have time for that in my life. I want to live a content life. I don’t have everything that I want in my life but I want to be content with whatever season that I’m going through. I have had enough of making sure everyone else was good before I made sure I was good. 2020 was a shitty year and I’m not about to have 2021 be the same. I can’t control the pandemic and I can’t control other people but I can control myself. I have had some ups and downs this year that has caused me to step back and review some things in my life. And as I was reviewing I seen some things that needed to change. Nothing wrong with change but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and it’s going to benefit you. Life is a journey and you just have to be ready for the adventure.

Changes:

Spring forward. Well, I’m glad to have more sunlight in the evenings now. The time change has got me thinking, when do things change in our lives? I know that I have made some changes that I feel have benefited me, but why does it take so long to make the necessary changes? Season’s change and time change but do we change? Change is hard to come by. But I noticed that the more that I change the better my life gets. But why does it take so long? I’m stubborn and I don’t want to change all the time. Sometimes I feel like I don’t need to change and other people should. But when I think about it the more I change the more people around me either change or show their true colors. Change is necessary for growth. But just like the seasons and time we need to change as well.

Fight for your marriage:

They say that marriage comes in stages. The first stage is the honeymoon. This stage I’m not familiar with. All my friends stated that this stage lasts for 3 years. They state that you’re happy all the time, everything is wonderful and perfect all the time. During the first 3 years of my marriage, we moved from Virginia, Georgia and then to Louisiana. I feel like we didn’t have enough time to bond, to just go on vacations and just have peaceful bliss. We struggled for the first 3 years of our marriage. We argued a lot, we didn’t know how to communicate well. We were both trying to get used to living together and trying to get our personalities to match. So for me, the honeymoon phase didn’t exist in my marriage. But through the years I’ve learned what the honeymoon phase is all about. You don’t have to just have the honeymoon phase just at the beginning of the first 3 years of marriage. When my husband and I got into it last week I was hurt. Not talking to someone that you care about is painful. But when we made up, I can honestly say that I’m experiencing the honeymoon phase. We have talked, laughed and just been carefree since then. I’m learning to live in the moment with my marriage. It took a very low point in my marriage to understand what I’m missing. To some fixing, an issue in your marriage is out of the question. They would rather divorce or separate. But for me, I want to fight till I can’t fight anymore for my marriage. So if you’re like me and have never experienced the honeymoon phase don’t give up it will happen. And anyone thinking about giving up on their marriage, fight for it till you can’t fight for your marriage anymore. Anything worth having takes work. So work on it, I know that I am.