Happy Friday:

Happy Friday everyone. My blog post this week has been heavy so I wanted to start the weekend with something light. So Monday I went and got my hair done. I love trying out new styles on my hair. I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Nothing like a good journal:

I don’t know about you but I love a good journal. I want a journal that speaks to me. I love writing my thoughts, prayers, and ideas in a good journal. I know that some people feel like a journal is just a journal but for me, it’s not. I need to be motivated by this journal and what I can write in it. So are you picky about your journals? Do you love to journal?

Crown: Poem

Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Pexels.com

Hey Queen don’t hold your head down
Hold your head up and let me fix your crown
We don’t know what you’ve been through
Keep your head high because your girls got you
Don’t let anyone rob you of your joy
They haven’t walked in your shoes so they can stop with the noise
Hold your head high and do you
Queen, you are beautiful and your crown looks good on you

Beautiful: Poem

Photo by Jackson David on Pexels.com

My black is beautiful
No matter what you say
My black is beautiful
In every single way
My black is beautiful
No need to shy away from me
My black is beautiful
I’m young and free
My black is beautiful
No more hate or shame
My black is beautiful
Please don’t judge the color of my skin
My black is beautiful
Must I say it again

I’m struggling:

So we all have struggles, right? Well, this is my struggle right now. Do I read this wonderful book or do I write? For some reason, I can’t do both. To be honest I haven’t written for this book in a long time. Yes, I have been writing but not for this book. Does anyone else have this struggle or is it just me? So do I read or write???? Yes, the struggle is real.

Myself:

Photo by Renda Eko Riyadi on Pexels.com

I can truly say that I’m in a happy place in my life. Despite what is going on in the world I’m happy. As many of you know I’m determined to work on myself and put myself first this year. And I have been doing that and getting some great results too. I feel better and my attitude is better. I don’t feel the need to always check on others before I check on myself. My marriage has gotten a lot better and I feel like we are in a really good space. I felt selfish at first because I have never put myself first and, to be honest, wasn’t sure what that would look like. But I take time to focus on my needs and wants. When I get up in the morning I check my attitude to see what is going on with me today. I pray about it and focus on correcting a negative attitude. Most of the time I didn’t sleep well and thus a negative attitude. I make sure I correct it before I start my day and engage with the people that I live with. I also take the time to do the things that I enjoy. I make this a daily habit because if I know that I’m going to be able to do something that I enjoy it makes the day better. I’m not saying that I neglect other people but I don’t make it all about them anymore. Since I have been doing this I have noticed a change in my household. They have noticed how happy I am and they are doing things to make a change in their lives as well. As a wife and mother, I had always neglected myself and didn’t find time to do the things that I wanted to do. It was always about everyone else. But since the kids are young adults and the hubby doesn’t need all my time and attention. I felt like this was a great time to set out and change myself. Change is hard and changes from within are even harder. But I’m committed to this process and see where my life takes me. I’m not finished working on myself but I’m glad that I started.

Growth:

Photo by Jennifer Murray on Pexels.com

This is a new season and I feel myself changing. Besides my allergies acting up I have seen some growth in me. And others have mentioned how much I have changed (in a good way). And to be honest I didn’t know what they were talking about until a conversation popped up and my husband mentioned to me that I don’t become angry when talking about his parents anymore. If you don’t know the story well let’s just say his parents and I don’t get along. Well, it’s mostly his mom that I don’t get along with. She has done somethings and said somethings to try to ruin my marriage. She has always been a thorn in my side, but I didn’t even realize that when he was mentioning them. It just felt like a normal conversation about other people. I’m so proud of myself because we could never just have a conversation about them without me blowing up. But I’m at peace where we are so this is a huge milestone for me. And also when talking about my kid’s dad I don’t get angry and blow up anymore. I have moved on and I’m truly at peace with where our relationships are ( which means we don’t have one). I felt like I would always have to deal with my anger when it came to these two. But now hearing their names or even talking about them in conversations doesn’t bother me anymore. The growth I have come a long way. I’m proud of myself for maturing into the woman that I want to be. Trust me this process was not easy and it didn’t happen overnight. As I always say life is a journey.

Struggling to understand:

Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on Pexels.com

I’m struggling to put into words how I’m feeling about all that is going on right now. When are we going to stop hating each other? When will skin color not matter anymore? When will someone being different not matter anymore? What has happened to love and being excepting of others? Stop Asian hate. How about we stop the hate period! And then there was the mass shooting in Colorado. I’m not understanding at all how you can have that much energy to do evil and not good? What is truly going on with people? It’s more than a mental health issue. I believe we need to start caring more for people and showing it. The words we speak have consequences and we need to take a moment to think about what we are putting out. So many people have died for no reason at all. Just because someone got up that morning and decided that they were not that important to live anymore. This hurts so much. When will this madness end? I’m tired of seeing people (period) dying. It doesn’t matter your skin color. When will common sense kick in? This is troubling, to say the least, and I don’t know how to make things better. Trust if I did I would. We can all agree to disagree without killing one another.