Today is so bittersweet for me. It’s my last day at work. The decision to leave wasn’t an easy one but a necessary one. When you are stressed out and your giving 150% but there are so many issues that get swept under the rug. Well it’s time to go. For some these issues may not be a big deal or even a deal breaker, but for me they were. Now is there a perfect company to work for no. But I loved working for this company. It’s an amazing company that cares about its employees but like I said some issues are to hard to overlook especially when it affects your job. So Im stepping out on faith because I don’t have another job yet. I know that what God has for me is for me. Have a great day everyone.
I have heard a lot about joy. And I have talked to people who said that joy is more important to them than happiness. And as I thought about what they said. I started to really wonder about joy. Happiness comes and goes but joy is something that is with you always. And as this year is about me and working on me I needed to truly understand the joy and who to have joy. I have been learning some important lessons about joy and just being a better me. I can say that happiness is not a problem. But joy, I’m learning to have it. And so far it’s a lesson. Joy doesn’t come easy it’s something that has to be practiced. And I’m on the road to having more joy in my life. So do you have joy? What have you done to get and keep it in your life?
I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving. Mines was good. But one thing that had me questioning myself was a comment that was made on thanksgiving. Let’s just say that the person who said it wanted to go somewhere else for Thanksgiving but decided to come to see me. I had a conversation with my husband about what was said the next day. It hurt me because this person is important to me, and I felt like I was important to them. So from that day on, I was like I’m going to protect my peace. I have had enough hurt to last me a lifetime, but that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. To allow people to hurt and say words that are not okay I will not allow that in my life anymore. I have let so many people just say and do what they will, but not anymore. I have been working on myself and going to counseling to help me heal and move on with my life. I won’t ever take the people who show up for me for granted. But in no way will I make an effort to be there for those who don’t feel like I’m important enough.
I’ve been going through a lot lately. I’m still on the job hunt, what happened to my son, and just trying to be okay with not being okay. I had a long good ugly cry. I just let it all out and I felt so much better. I can’t keep stressing over things. I just have to let some things go. I don’t want to always be full of stress. I have to let go and let God. I can only control what I can control. I can’t make people hire me and I can’t make people treat my children with respect. I have to just pray about it and leave it in God’s hands. I’m at peace though and that’s a good thing. It’s been a while since I have been at peace.
As we go into this three day weekend. I just want you to remember no matter what you’re going through. Always protect your peace. I use to let so many things and people get under my skin. But I have learned to protect what is so important to me. Your peace of mind is so important. Have a great weekend.
Have you ever just wanted to enjoy somethings alone? Have you ever been made to feel guilty because you want to enjoy doing some things alone? I have shows or just want to listen to a podcast alone, but sometimes when I watch my shows my husband always wants to ask me about it or go back, etc. It bothers me a lot. I try to watch my shows when he is not around, but sometimes I can’t do that. Why does it frustrate me so much when I want to watch something in peace and I can’t get that peace. Am I wrong? I don’t mind him watching things with me but I do mind the questions and wanting to always have conversations about it. Maybe it’s me but maybe it’s not. We should all have moments of doing things alone right?
For me when I’m stressed or just want to be alone writing is my outlet. But now I have a new outlet and it’s called meditation. When I tell you the peace it brings me. I wish I had started this so much sooner. Sometimes it feels like my life is spiraling out of control but mediation gets me back to a place of peace that I love. I’m learning that I’m going to really have to let somethings and people go that are destroying my peace. That’s one thing in 2020 that people will not get anymore. Mediation is working wonders. Have a great Sunday.