How are you?

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How are you doing? No really how are you doing? So many times when I ask people how are you doing, they always say that they’re fine. But in reality, they are not fine, they just don’t want to burden us. Well please burden me. I want to be that listening ear. I want to be the person that you can reach out to for support. So many times especially us women we just say we are fine. But in reality, we need someone to listen to us. A shoulder to lean on. We need to hear the words girl I got you. We will get through this together. So many people are dying in silence because they don’t want to burden others. This used to be me, but not anymore. Get with someone that you trust and who has your back. If you don’t have anyone I’m here for you. Please reach out because no one should ever suffer in silence. So how are you doing?

No longer strong:

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My heart goes out to the Stephen Boss family. How do strong people stay strong for everyone else? I have struggled with this same question so many times. Everyone comes to me for everything but there is no one to share my heart with? It’s a battle and struggle that I have dealt with for years. But I continue to be strong during my struggles. But not anymore because strong people need people as well. I’ve gotten so wrapped up in being there for others that at times I forget to be there for myself. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes. There are moments and times when I don’t want to hear anyone else’s problems. But how can I be there for others but when it’s my time to need someone and have no one in return? It’s a hard pill to swallow at times. I have always had a big heart and will do anything for family and friends. But there needs to be a balance that is happening with me. I have found my balance to give myself time and space to focus on myself. Strong people are only as strong as the people who we have around us. Who is lifting up or even checking on the strong people that they know? Why are the strong people suffering in silence? Why are we lacking in having someone there for us? My mental health is more important now than it use to be. I have backed away from doing so much for other people. My focus is on myself. You can’t give others what you don’t have. And I have been operating on E for way too long. Strong people stop helping everyone and take a minute to work on yourself. Love yourself more and build yourself up. We are few and we want to be there for everyone but we can’t. We need to be there for ourselves before we can give to the world. Twitch death has taught me so much. He was a positive and always happy person, but behind it, all was so much going on. I have worn a mask for so many years, but the mask is off. What you see is what you get from me. Strong people let other people know that they need time to heal themselves. Let them know that you need to talk. Not everyone is going to be your safe space. Strong people, it’s okay not to be strong all the time.

Healthy boundaries:

I’m learning a hard but necessary lesson. I need to learn how to create healthy and necessary boundaries. I felt like I was fine in this area. But this weekend taught me a very valuable lesson. I need to learn how to create boundaries. This was a hard and painful lesson to learn. I have started reading a book about boundaries. How many of you are struggling to create boundaries? And if you’re not what are some healthy boundaries you have created?

Check in with you often:

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It’s the year of taking care of me. My kids are all grown and I have spent years neglecting myself. When the pandemic hit so did my anxiety and other things that I was dealing with. I’m not sure about you but neglecting yourself is not the way to go. My mental health took a toll and I felt like something had to give. So I took inventory of my life and I found the things that I have been neglecting in me. I found things that I needed to work on and I found books that are helping me do things differently. I’m not where I wanna be but I’m way better than before. I have decided that every month I’m going to check in with myself to see how I’m doing. What I can I improve on and what’s not working. This has really helped me to do a reset in my life. Check on yourself often. You’re worth it.

What are you doing?:

What are you doing today to better yourself? Are you still trying to figure out how to get rest, exercise and do work around the house? How about taking some time each day to focus on yourself. Take a bath and let the family know it’s your time and not to disturb you. At lunch go for a short walk to clear your mind. Grab a book at read for five minutes. You have to focus in yourself sometimes. The world and your family will function a lot better with a healthy you. Let’s take time out for ourselves this week.

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