I’m not even gonna lie. Saying I Do is the easy part of marriage. The first 5 years of my marriage were hard. The day after my wedding my husband and I got into a huge argument over directions. So this is how our marriage would start. We were two different people trying to navigate life together. We were so stuck on the word husband and wife that we forgot to be friends. We had moments when we didn’t talk to one another. And there were many times during our marriage that I wanted to give up and just be done with it. I was tired of not getting it right. I heard people say that this is the honeymoon period. That never happened. It seemed like we were always arguing and not listening to one another. It felt like who could win this argument today. My husband grew up in a negative and hostile environment. So yelling was common growing up. So yelling is what he did a lot of. I was the opposite. We didn’t have yelling. We talked things out and listened to one another. But when you are two different people things don’t always work the way you think that they will. When we were friends and dating we never argued so this was new to us. It was a struggle every day to understand how we could do things better. But we got there. We were not perfect nor where we want to be but we are not where we use to be either. The next 4 years of marriage were trial and error. We didn’t want to get a divorce so we did counseling as a couple and individually. And there are times when things went great and not so great. So as we approach 10 years we have grown in ways that you can’t imagine. There are at times some yelling, but we have more sit down conversations. There are more love and respect for one another. When I look back on my marriage I’m glad I didn’t give up. I would have missed out on something beautiful.

Have you ever dreamed of how you would be proposed to? Have you ever dreamed about how you would want your wedding to be? Nope, not me lol. I’m serious why would I dream about that when I didn’t want it. Well as my husband and I became friends and then when became a couple. It was an amazing process to go from the in-between stage to now a couple. And it didn’t feel any different. We were still committed to being the best of friends. And as I get closer to my wedding anniversary one thing has crossed my mind. I want to be a better friend to my husband. I’m not saying that I’m not a good friend, but I can be a better friend. Friendship means the world to me. My husband is the type of friend that I had needed in my life for so long. You don’t know what you need until someone amazing comes along in your life. Married men and women please make sure that you remain friends with your spouse.