When I tell you that I’m crushed and disappointed that my new job didn’t work out. I believe that people should put their best foot forward. When you come to train please be positive and not talk bad about the other employees. And then don’t have an attitude because people are asking questions. When I say that my experience was horrible, it was just that. I feel like a disappointment to my husband and myself. I felt like this job was the one and I passed on other jobs for this one. I’m hugely disappointed. I’m back to job hunting again. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers because this is getting to me.
So I’ve been wondering if I should speak out about something that I keep reading and hearing. And I ran across an article that set me on fire, I was so mad. So I’m like let me say my peace. This is my opinion and just that. I have heard and read a lot of stories regarding racism. And as a black woman married to a black man and have two black sons and a black daughter I’m exhausted. It’s one thing to say you feel threatened by black people but to go as far as to say we need to be slaves again so we can know our places. WTF does that mean??? God created everyone and we are to love everyone, even our enemies, and what I’m trying to understand about what I have read and heard is that people are scared of a race and skin color? WHOA so killing innocent black people is okay? You’re going to heaven right? So the article I read was about a lady who while growing up had maids, lawn keepers, and things like this. All of them she wrote were black. She feels like slavery should come back and that if we as black people were put in our place there wouldn’t be this issue. What issue is it I’m wondering? First of all, we didn’t ask to come to America, second of all were is the love for one another. This article pissed me off and the dumb ass comments that followed. I’m getting so sick and tired of people thinking that at a race is so horrible. I’m getting sick and tired of worrying if my husband and sons will be okay when they leave the house. I’m getting so sick and tired of people saying we need to get over it. I’m getting so sick and tired of people stating that this is what we deserve. I’m trying to understand how skin color can be so bad? Every race commits crimes. But it’s okay to justify killing the black race. It’s okay if I’m walking and you feel uneasy that you can shot me. When will it stop? I’m tired and I’m tired of no one truly caring. But God cares this I do know. Because even though people who commit crimes may not get the punishment that they deserve, they will have to answer to God one day. I truly want people to understand that love trumps hate, good trumps evil. We are all the same, if you peel our skin off we are all the same. We are different for a reason. God made us different so we can love and appreciate one another. When will the hate and violence stop? I’m sorry if some on you don’t understand, I’m sorry if you feel like I shouldn’t have written this post. But you have to understand this is my life. I wake up black and I’m going to die black. No one is perfect and no one should have to worry if there loved ones are going to see another day because of there skin color.
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One thing that I truly dislike is living in an apartment. I dislike the fact that my neighbors feel the need to be loud at night until early in the morning. I have never had an issue with any of my neighbors but this bunch is truly working my nerves. It took everything within me not to get up and go outside and go off on them. The level of disrespect is so unreal. But I can assure you that if it happens again tonight the police will be called. It makes me mad that people don’t have respect when people are sleeping. You shouldn’t be having parties at 11 pm to early in the morning. Okay, I’m done ranting.
It’s sad when people have to wrap themselves up in one person. I can’t be everything to everybody. When you don’t have anyone else to turn to but me, it makes it hard. You want me to do what others didn’t do in the past. You expect me to make you something that I’m not sure even you want to really be. It’s always been a battle. I’m always supporting, encouraging and doing, but it never seems to be enough. I’ve given you gifts to let you know I care? When was the last time you gave me one? I’m here for you to talk to and listen. But you can’t do that in return for me because you always want to give me your advice. At some point you should know what it takes to be a friend and more. Maybe you really don’t want to get it or your just to selfish and you want everyone to feel bad for you. At the end of the day you should enjoy life no matter what, because I am. I can’t make you who you want to be, I’m working on me. When you have someone you come last not first all the time. Just ranting needed to get somethings off my chest.
Conversations on finding and loving who I am 