Thank you to all my followers. I feel truly blessed ❤❤❤❤
As I’m sitting here listening to the rain and drinking my coffee. I have to admit how thankful I am. So many times I take things and people for granted. No matter what goes on in my day I want people to know that I appreciate them. Last weekend is no different. My husband took off Friday and we hung out all day. He could have done the things that he needed to do but he made the day about us-me. It felt nice to be able to do some of the things that I enjoy. But I do admit I don’t always say thank you enough. I don’t always say sorry enough. And most important I don’t always listen to hear what he has to say. I hear but if it’s something that I don’t like my attitude kicks back in. But I’m working on that. We all need to hear how we can do better and be better without getting our feelings hurt. He doesn’t say things to hurt me but I take it that way. I’m a firm believer in it’s not what you say but how you say it. But when it’s done in love I should receive it in love. I’m working on being more thankful to those around me and those who are not. So let me just say I’m thankful to have you reading my blog and going on this journey called life with me. You all are amazing and make what I do more meaningful. Thank you for just being you. Have a great day.
I believe it was two weeks ago I read a blog post that someone had written and it blew me away. This guy wrote about unrealistic expectations in his marriage. And the points that he made were amazing. But one of the main points that he made that stuck with me was that when you have high expectations there is no way that someone could reach these goals. I had to think if my expectations of my husband were too high? But he also pointed out that how often do you need these expectations met? How much or too little is enough? It had me thinking maybe I’m putting undue pressure on my husband. But the guy of the blog wrote that when his wife had no expectations of her husband how their marriage grew and how the things that she needed from him were meet more often. Okay, I’m like how is that possible because if he wasn’t doing it then what changes? So I made a challenge for myself to have no expectations of my husband and see how that will work. Well, let me tell you that since I’ve been doing this challenge how things have changed. And they have changed for the better. Since I have no expectations I’m not easily offended if something doesn’t get done. But the crazy part is that he is doing the things that I need and more. Why is that you ask? I’m not sure, to be honest. I told him about this last week and he was like really. I can’t explain it but if you don’t put pressure on yourself or your spouse it’s easier to relax and just enjoy one another. Crazy I know but it works.
I’ve read blogs where people have expressed feeling alone. They have said that no one cares about them. But I want you all to know that I care about you. You’re blogs have made a difference in my life. We are in strange times and I know some of you are use to begin around people and always going out on the weekends. I know this is hard but just know you will get through this. You are cared about. If you feel alone reach out to someone. Your not alone we are all struggling. People do care about you. You will make it through.
It’s crazy when you take a moment to work on yourself you realize all the things that you haven’t been working on. As I was sitting by myself reflecting on somethings I noticed that I haven’t been the wife that I want to be to my husband. Why is that you may ask? Well for me I have to be the one who initiates so many things and after a while it just gets tiring. So I stopped initiating a lot of things that we both enjoyed because of my selfishness. But I knew when I met my husband that this wasn’t his strength. But I felt like over the years it would just come natural to him. I’m not saying that he doesn’t initiate anything but he doesn’t do it as much as me. So I was using that as a standard to measure whether or not I was going to do something. And yes that was selfish and unfair of me because he doesn’t do that to me. I have many flaws and many things don’t come naturally to me. But as I’m working on myself this year I had to see the error of my ways. I want him to be like me but he won’t. I didn’t fall in love with him because he was like me, I fell in love with him because he wasn’t like me. We have missed out on so much because of this. I’m working to do much better in this area of my life. You don’t realize sometimes what you do to people until it’s brought to your attention. I realize that there are several areas in my life as a wife that I can get better at. Working on me is way harder than I thought it would be, but it’s worth it because I’m worth it.
As a nation how do we heal? Where do we begin to start the process? After seeing the Capitol riots and yesterday’s peaceful inauguration where do we begin? For some it may seem like healing will never come and that how things are will continue to be. And then some are hopeful for change. I still poise this question that I have posted before in my blogs why the hate? Why do we hate a political party? Why do we hate change? Why do we hate the color of someone’s skin? Why do we hate each other? Why is hate even taught in the home? It doesn’t matter who you voted for trust me if you don’t like this person it will change in four years. But what hasn’t changed is the hate in this country. I pray for healing, I pray for love and I pray that people can learn to have honest conversations with one another and truly get to know each other. At some point, I wonder do people even stop to think why they hate something? To me hate is such a strong word. I pray that we can learn to truly change our hate to love. But first, our hearts need to change about the situation. We can heal as a nation we just have to want to.
Last week my husband was on vacation. Which was a great thing because he never takes a whole week off. It gave us time to just hang out and enjoy one another. The last time my husband took time off work was in September for our anniversary. It was nice to be able to relax and just hang out with one another. We were able to talk, catch up on movies, and even just hang out. Even though we have the weekend it’s not enough time to be able to do what we need to do. I hardly rest I’m always going and going. But it was nice to be able to actually relax and just hang out with the hubby. But it gives me a deeper appreciation for all that he does for his family and how much spending time with me gives him peace. This year has been crazy but we have gotten closer this year. I know that no matter he will always be by my side.
I’m not even gonna lie Covid has made things hard for me. I haven’t seen my sons and mom since May. I miss them like crazy. But I have grown to appreciate the time that we did spend together. I definitely didn’t take that for granted. And now I understand what my Granny used to always say. Make sure you make your time with people count because you never know when it will be your last time seeing them. Oh, how right she was. I don’t know what 2021 may bring, but I do know that from now on I will be more intentional when I spend time with people. I miss hanging out with my friends and giving them hugs. Time is so precious that we often take it for granted. 2021 I plan on doing things differently because I know that I have not used my time here on earth wisely. The next time I see family and friends I’m going to hug them longer and enjoy them more than I used to.
I want to continue with my grateful message. If any of you are married or have been married. Then you know how hard it can be. My first five years of marriage was a true struggle for me. We had times where we just couldn’t get it right no matter how hard we tried. But we didn’t give up on each other. We got to a place where we both communicated so differently. Once we got into a marriage group and then started doing the hard work on one another we got better. No, we are not perfect but our marriage is better than ever. I’m grateful for my husband never giving up on me and this marriage. I’m grateful for him being the provider while I got laid off work. I’m grateful during this season of 2020 we are still in love and enjoy spending time with one another. There are so many people I know who are currently going through a divorce. It’s sad because you don’t know what people are going through in their marriage no matter how well you know them. Even if your marriage isn’t going as well as you would like if you and your spouse are still trying to make it work then that’s a reason to be grateful. I count my blessings daily when it comes to my husband. I’m grateful for him and his friendship.
What does it mean to love someone unconditionally? Is it even possible?