Who do you think you are:

Who am I you ask? I’m an amazing woman. I have flaws and I’m not perfect. My mouth can be slick sometimes. But please don’t take it personal. My goofy and I love to laugh. I can have an attitude but that’s life. But I’m loyal to a fault. I’m the friend who will stick by you until you cross the line. I love my family and life. So that’s who I am. Don’t ever stop being you and loving you. So when people say who do you think you are. Let them know.

Hey sis:

Hey sis I see you. Don’t stop smiling, loving and laughing. You are strong and beautiful. Don’t let society tell you you’re worth. You are awesome and amazing. Shine sis shine. Keep your head and glow. Show the world the best you possible. I see you sis.

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What’s the new normal?:

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What is the new normal now? I mean I remember what life was like before the pandemic. Now we have some people who have been vaccinated and some who haven’t. We have a new variant out that is killing and putting people back in the hospital. So what is the new normal? To wear a mask or not to wear a mask that is the question. I’m not going to lie I move differently now. Even though I’m fully vaccinated this is my new normal. I don’t want to be in crowds anymore. There are people who don’t care about getting other people sick. It just feels like a reckless time. So what now? Will there be more variants? How are we to live our lives? So what is the new normal? I guess it’s whatever you make of it really.

Don’t stop dreaming:

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It’s been a while since I allowed myself to just dream. I have dreams but I have placed them on hold. I use to daydream all the time and I guess I have let myself stop dreaming. I’m not sure why I have allowed myself to do that. But it’s okay to dream again. It’s okay to want to do things that may seem impossible. We all have dreams but it is up to us whether or not they come true. Your dream may be small or big, but the point is to never stop dreaming. I know since this pandemic there have been people who had dreams and made them come true. I on the other hand had put my dream to the side for a while. No matter where you are in life right now, never let your dream die. Dream again because you never know where that dream will take you.

Changing seasons:

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We all make our own choices in life. Some of the choices that we make are either good or bad. But life is full of choices and decisions that have to be made. I have made more decisions in my life that were based on other people than on myself. And I had to look myself in the eye and say is this how you want to continue your life? You want to make decisions that will make everyone else happy or you happy? I had to have a tough conversation with myself this year. And let me tell you it wasn’t pretty but I was honest with myself about what I wanted and what I wasn’t about to tolerate in my life anymore. I have always based my life around other people and their happiness and comfort level. Well, let me tell you I’m done with that. I’m in my 40’s and your comfort level doesn’t have anything to do with mines. I’m done entertaining negativity because it’s draining and I don’t have time for that in my life. I want to live a content life. I don’t have everything that I want in my life but I want to be content with whatever season that I’m going through. I have had enough of making sure everyone else was good before I made sure I was good. 2020 was a shitty year and I’m not about to have 2021 be the same. I can’t control the pandemic and I can’t control other people but I can control myself. I have had some ups and downs this year that has caused me to step back and review some things in my life. And as I was reviewing I seen some things that needed to change. Nothing wrong with change but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and it’s going to benefit you. Life is a journey and you just have to be ready for the adventure.

Update second shot:

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So I got my second COVID shot on Thursday. I got a small headache nothing serious then all of a sudden I felt exhausted. So I laid down. My husband went and got us dinner and I eat and went to bed. During the night I got so hot that I was sweating so bad. Then all of a sudden I got cold. I woke up the next more exhausted. I took a shower and made myself some tea and just laid on the couch. I had to end up going back to bed I slept for like 3 hours straight. I woke up feeling better but during that evening I got hot again then cold just off and on. And I went back to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling great. I think I had mild flu-like symptoms. But during yesterday my husband and I watched the Mary J. Blige documentary and for some reason I something told me I needed to finish working on my book. I have been working on it off and on but something lit a fire under me and I’m more determined than ever to finish my book. Some stories are so difficult to tell but so necessary. I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Not alone:

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Thank you for all the love that I received in my last post. It truly means a lot to me and to know that I’m not alone at all in how I feel. Yesterday I was talking to my husband trying to find the words to explain how I was feeling. And he took the words right out of my mouth. Every feeling that I had felt and am feeling he knew. How did he know because he went through the same thing that I’m going through now You should have seen the look on my face like you were going through this also? I honestly thought that it was just a women’s thing and that my husband would never understand. Well, he understood and even gave me some advice. Some tips on what he did and how it helped him. Prayer is a huge part but also knowing it’s okay to reflect on these feelings to see if something is missing. Also just being by myself to reflect on these feelings. He also suggested this app that has helped him. I will let you know if the app has helped me. But it felt so good that he understood what I was going through and also my blogging community. I honestly felt like I was the only one going through this. So yesterday I brought my notebook and pen to the living room and just laid them down. And something sparked me to start writing. It wasn’t a lot but it was a starting point. I plan on listening to the app today and see if I can write a few more words today. This journey is interesting, to say the least, but I’m glad that I’m not alone in it.