It’s time to reset and refocus my life. I haven’t felt like writing in awhile. With so much going on it’s not the same. Went to the doctor today because my shoulder has been bothering me. Only to find out it’s my rotator cup. I have to do physical therapy and if it doesn’t get better than surgery. So much has been going on with my life that I need a time out button. But it’s time to reset and refocus. I have got to get me back on track.
This time off has taught me a lot about myself. I’m learning to communicate better. Sadly, it has taken so long to understand my communication pattern. It’s never too late to learn something new about yourself. My journey is not done yet. I’m a surface communicator and I don’t always let people know how I’m feeling. But I need to learn how to communicate better when I’m angry and this weekend was a good learning lesson. Having much-needed conversations with my husband about how I’m feeling and how I need to find a better outlet to let my feelings known. I’m glad that I have such an understanding spouse. Trust me it’s not easy being married a lot of times, but when you have someone so supportive it makes it so much easier.
I’m learning to do things differently in my life. Yesterday I got mad at my husband and the old me would have been mad all day. But instead, I let it go and had an amazing day with my husband. But I’m learning to move on and let things go. And the reason why I was mad was so stupid anyway. I’m learning what is important and what isn’t. I’m learning to get over my emotions because I’m an emotional being. Time to let some things go. I’m learning this lesson and many more.
When I began to look back over my life I have come to realize that I have been accustom to the bad in relationships that I have failed to look at the good. I was comparing and waiting for all types of bad things to happen in my marriage because that is what I’m accustomed to in many of my past relationships. My husband can do a 100 things right, but when he does one thing wrong I throw all the 100 things that he did right out the window. I’m so focused on the wrong that I don’t look at all the good that is being done. I seem to be so caught up in the past that I’m afraid to accept what is right in front of me. I’m on a journey to do better in my life. I don’t want to be blind to my present and future. I have to understand that not everyone is alike. Sometimes it takes a while to get this concept. I’m just glad that my eyes are open to fully see and appreciate what I have.
Conversations on finding and loving who I am 