I’m learning that a lot of things that I’m feeling have to do with my past. It’s a DIS-EASE that I must cure myself of. I have to let go of the past but how? Well, I need to forgive myself for the things that have happened in my past. I have to forgive others for what they did to me. I’m not a victim anymore. I want to be in a more peaceful place in life. I want to love and be loved genuinely. I want to walk with my head held high. I know that there is more to life than being mad about what has happened to me. 2019 has been a lot of ups and downs. But I’m determined to be better no matter what. I’m working on my healing and growing. Life is full of lessons and I’m a student who will learn from these lessons.

Someone Else:

Have you ever wanted to change lives with someone? Have you ever wanted your life to be different? Why? So say you do changes places with someone else, would you be able to handle their issues? What about the problems that they don’t tell you about, could you handle that? Just because you think someone else’s life is better doesn’t mean that it is. We all deal with issues differently. There are people who cover their issues by drinking, drugs, shopping, you name it. No one is perfect and if you think that everyone has it all together then that’s not true. I use to want to live someone else’s life until I saw their life up close. It wasn’t pretty at all, but when people don’t see the issues or problems in your life, they think you have the best life. Now I’m not saying that you have to show people your scars and tell them your story, but stop assuming that someone has a better life than you. Because I can guarantee that’s not true. We all handle our issues differently. Stop wanting to live someone else’s life and make your life better. You have the power to do better for yourself. There are no happy ever afters if you don’t do the work.

Word fast update:

I did a word fast some months ago. And let me tell you how hard that was for me. I thought I was well prepared for it, but I wasn’t. See I’m the type of person that is easily controlled by my mood. I had very good intentions of being positive and always thinking great and kind thoughts. But I lasted two days. Yes, I said two days, well let me explain why. I don’t do well with the mistreatment of other people, nor do I like being disrespected. And when those two things come into play well my word choice comes into play as well. So I still need a lot of work when it comes to words. And I have actually been thinking about this pretty hard because my words can affect someone just like they affect me. But I can respond in love and peace instead of anger and hate. I know what other’s words do to me so why should I do that back in return. And to be honest it doesn’t make me feel good treating other’s the way that they treat me. It hurts, to be honest. I’m learning to think before I speak and to understand that I don’t have to be like everyone else with there words. It’s okay to be kind and still get my point across. So this is going to be an ongoing work in progress for me. I will keep you updated on how my progress is going. If you want to join in let me know how you are doing.