When I tell you that my 40’s have my eyes WIDE open. Chile you can’t tell me anything. When I tell you that I’m sticking to my boundaries and I’m creating a space for me to thrive. Well, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Honey, I don’t know why it took me so long to get here. Hold up yes I do, because I’m kind, caring and always put others’ needs before my own. Well not no more, well within limits I should say. I’m not that heartless and cold. Who is this new woman? I love me some her. I have been through storms and valleys, and when I tell you that I see the rainbow. I see the rainbow and I’m going to be alright. It’s been hard and I shed so many tears. But why keep crying about things that I can change? Happiness hello it’s me and I’m here to stay. Joy girl where have you been, I’m here to stay. Patience chile it’s been a long time and I’m here to stay. Confidence well we ain’t never been friends, but you’re my new BFF. This journey is just being and I have tons left to do to be where I want to be. I’m not giving up and I definitely won’t be looking back.
How has your week been? Any plans for the weekend? Well my week is bittersweet. I gave my two weeks notice for my job yesterday. This place has the best management and coworkers I have worked with in a long time. So you’re probably wondering why am I leaving… Well it’s our system and I feel like I have given so much of myself to this job. I haven’t worked in the healthcare field in a long time. And quite honestly I’m drained. I’m hoping to find something that will bring me joy. My weekend well hopefully relax and catch up on my TV shows. Have a great weekend everyone.
My weekend was absolutely amazing. Words doesn’t do it any justice. My husband and daughter made me feel totally loved and cared about this weekend. We didn’t do anything fancy, but it was still amazing. I haven’t let anyone just love me in a way that they want to love me. I always felt like I needed to be loved a certain way. But never gave them the benefit of the doubt. We all have different love languages and I needed love in my language. But what I realized is that we love differently and genuine love is the best love. Spending time laughing, talking and eating made my weekend. Im a simple woman I don’t need a lot to be happy. But this weekend was the best weekend in a long time and Im grateful for my husband and kids.
Let’s talk 2021:
I know that 2020 has been well how can I say it interesting. Even though 2020 is not quite over with yet what is something that you have learned our want to take into 2021 with you? I have truly thought about this some and here are some of the things that I will continue in 2021 our do more of.
- I will have my me-time
- I will continue to work on my writing
- I will continue to grow and work on me
- I will enjoy my time with others more
- I will continue to reach out to those I haven’t been able to see or spend time with
- Meditation, mediation, mediation
- Continue to work on my marriage/ spend more time with the hubby
- Just enjoy life more
So these are some of the things that I will continue to do or do more of in 2021. What about you?
Today’s a little tough for me because even though we are going through this coronavirus life is still happening. My daughter has to turn in all her stuff at school and pick up her cap and gown today. I’m an emotional wreck, to say the least. Next Saturday she get’s to walk for her graduation and then just like that I’m an empty nester. Where has the time gone? I’m overwhelmed with joy and sadness. I’m so proud of her so far she has gotten two scholarships and she’s getting two cords for graduation. I feel like I’m dizzy with happiness. And then it’s on to college or more like online college for the time being. But I’m so proud of her. She is in a new season of life and so am I. I have all types of emotions going through me but I know that she will do fine in the world and me well I have to find what I want in this second season of life. Anyone an empty nester? Any advice for me?
I’m looking back at 2019 knowing that in 2020 I’m going to do things so much differently. 2019 brought a lot of unnecessary pain and sadness. 2019 I should have left some things and people behind. But I didn’t because I was afraid. But I’m learning to protect myself and my peace so much. But in 2019 I wasn’t so sure about myself and how I was going to make it, but one thing that I forgot is that God will always be here for me. 2019 I had to release some pain and try to learn how to manage that pain. My outlook on life is so different now. 2019 isn’t over yet but me not being happy and enjoying the people that I’m with is. Life is way to short to tolerate people who don’t want to change.
Today is an emotional and happy day. Today my baby girl turns 18. She is no longer a baby but she is still my baby. She is the last one. All my kids are grown now. She has brought me so much joy, love, and laughter. I never knew that having a daughter you would have someone who gets what you go through and loves you unconditionally. She is my cheerleader, my heartbeat and my heart. Happy birthday baby girl. You will forever be my baby.
I’m learning to create my happiness. And today has been an amazing day so far. I’m learning that not everything needs to be done right away and not everything has to be a rush. Just laying in bed and enjoying the extra time doing nothing. Laying next to my husband and enjoying our pillow talk. Not caring about time and just enjoying my time with the people around me. That’s what my day is all about today just enjoying my time and creating my happiness. I’m loving the idea of just seeing how not being on a schedule or meeting the demands of others will help me slow down and enjoy this life more. How do you create your happiness?