I feel like those who are different from us don’t get the same type of respect. Why is that? Why do we as outgoing people treat other’s who are not outgoing different? Why don’t we take the time to get to know them? Why do we call them names? Why do we feel like we are better? Well for me I’m not like that. I speak to everyone and try to get to know anybody. I don’t always want to conversate with someone who is outgoing. Why because most of the time they are like me surface talkers. Someone who is quiet and reserved usually is deep thinkers. I love to hear what they think about different things. Their conversation makes me think deeper about the subject. People who are not social are quite funny and cool to hang around. If we take the time to get to know people then you will see that we have a lot in common with them. The only difference between us is that they have a hard time getting to know people. Crowds of more than 3 they are not sure how to handle the conversation. What I’m trying to get at is stop thinking and saying people are weird when they’re not. You just don’t know what they are dealing with and you don’t want to take the time to find out or get to know them. Take the time to care for other people who are not like you. Understand that you might be the friend that they have been waiting for.
So he’s grown and has a wife and kids. But he still deals with the same issues. He has talked to counselors about this issue and yet it still exists. At work, some of his co-workers talk to him, but he finds that some of the conversation stalls because he doesn’t always know what to say. He’s invited out to lunch but it’s the social anxiety that still gets him. What do I say? How do I jump in the conversation? Why do I have to say good morning no one says anything back. What am I doing wrong?
This guy has been dealing with his social issues since elementary school. He comes from a background where if your quite your good. No social interaction was encouraged growing up. And the friends that he did have by that he went off to college well the process started all over because now he had all the same anxieties and fears. Who will talk to me he wondered? Am I good enough? All these things resurfaced. The little friends that he did have well communication that far away was hard. He doesn’t really like talking on the phone or texting. He tried to stay in touch there by social media but that was another level of anxiety. Social media will make things look amazing and like everything in other people’s lives where good. On breaks, he would go home and try to see and hang out with friends. But life for someone with social anxiety goes on.
After a while of years of dealing with social anxiety and depression comes in. You may get uplifted at home, but what happens when you leave home? Are people that disinterested in you if your not like them? Everyone struggles with something but people who struggle with being social are looked at differently. They are looked at as weird, crazy and murders. But they are not. Yes, some people who are loners have done things like this, but for the most part, many of them live in the silence of there struggles. How are they to coop with this? They are not anti-social they just struggle with being social and how to fit in. Why do we just overlook them or ignore them?
He leads an okay life. He has a wife and kids that love him and enjoy spending time with him. But what he really desires is friendships. He won’t always text or call you because he’s not that type of person. It’s not that he doesn’t want to do these things it’s just when he does do them nothing happens. When you want interaction whether it’s at work or other places ( besides home) and you don’t get it, that can lead to questioning yourself and your worth. Why don’t people reach out to him? Why isn’t he invited to places? Why don’t people try to get to know him?
I want to tell you a story about a friend of mine. He’s pretty cool, laid back and a bit of a loner. See the story goes that he has trouble keeping friends. It’s not that he’s unfriendly, it’s just that he’s not very social. People talk about him because he doesn’t take the time to say good morning to them our goodbye when he leaves. But he’s friendly, he will talk to you. Crowds of 3 or more people make him uncomfortable. He likes one on one conversations. But people think he’s weird because he’s not outgoing like everyone else. But why does that make him weird? Maybe if you got to know him and understand him you will know that he has a social anxiety disorder.
Have you ever had a really good male friend with whom you could talk to about anything? Someone you could chill with and knew that nothing was going to happen? And then one day they tell you that they have feelings for you. That part really messed me up because I had already been in a relationship with a really good friend and that ended badly for me. That person knew it but wanted to be honest about their feelings anyway. But have you ever stopped to wonder about what might have been? I’m not going to sit here and lie and say I haven’t because I have. I know that this person would have loved me unconditionally and would have seen to it that my every desire was met, but sometimes having a friend who sticks by you is better than not having that friend at all. For me, it was fear of losing a really good friend that might have had become my boyfriend. I can and can’t say that things would or wouldn’t have worked out for us. That we will never know. But to have a real friendship like that is priceless.