Realization:

Going back home taught me lessons and showed me blessings. I didn’t know what to feel when I get back home. It hurt losing my great uncle. But I didn’t know realized the void that I felt. The hurt is massive but I just felt lost without him. He was a big part of my life. But when you mix in grief and family well that combination isn’t always the best. You see the worst in people come out. People forget that we are here to celebrate life and not fight over things! People start talking about one another like we are not family. I felt so many emotions while being home but most of my emotions were hurt. Being home showed me why my circle is so small. It also showed me who cares about me. So many times we talk about what was and not what is. Sadly, death can bring more than just the pain of losing someone. It can bring the realization that the people you care about the most don’t care about you as much as you thought. Sadly, it took someone’s death for me to realize this.

Death is hard:

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Thursday, I lost a really good friend. We grew up together, went to church together, and school. He was someone who had a great outlook on life. He was always the life of the party and was loved so much. He lost his battle with cancer Thursday and Friday was his birthday. This hit me hard. I know that we have are going to die one day but it still hurts nonetheless. As I see and read all the love shown to him on Facebook, it makes me think about what will people say about me when I die? Did I live my life in a way where people will remember me? Did I make a difference in someone’s life? How much joy and encouragement did I bring to someone’s life? I will remember our conversations and the good times that we had during the years. I want people to remember me as being a positive light in their world. I want them to know that I was honest and genuine with all conversations that we had. But most importantly I want them to know that I cared about them. His death is hard but I know that he isn’t in any pain anymore. I’m glad that he was my friend and I always let him know that I love him. Live your life in a way that you will be remembered for the joy, light, and love that you gave.