This is hard:

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I’m naturally a feeling person. And when I feel a certain way it’s hard for me to not feel that way anymore. As a parent, I want nothing but the best for my children. I don’t tell my kids how to live their lives but I do try to direct and guide them when it’s asked. For some reason no matter how I try to guide my daughter it always seems to be the opposite with her. She wasn’t feeling good yesterday and I as mom was helping her, but then her friend calls and takes her for ice cream. Talk about a slap in the face. I have had it with her. I feel like no matter what I do or say she will do what she wants anyway. And I want to help her, but honestly, I feel like she needs to bump her head and learn the hard way in life. No matter what I say it’s her friends always. Well, we are going to see how many of your friends will care if you caught COVID our not get a scholarship for next semester. How many of your friends are going, to be honest about you doing what you need to do for things to be better for you in the future? It’s frustrating because she is such a bright girl but just so naive when it comes to who has your back. I think it’s time for me to let go and let God. I have prayed about it and have spoken to her about it but only God can move her heart. We’ll keep me in your thoughts and prayers. This is hard for me right now.

A poem to my daughter:

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Sometimes I wonder if you see you the way that I do
You’re beautiful on the inside and out, I love you through and through
I’m so proud of you and all that you are, your accomplishments
Baby girl you’re a rising star, you’re going to go far in life this I do not doubt
You will have some bumps in the road, but mom is here to help you out
You don’t understand how much you mean to me, your my twin, my mini-me
When God made me your mom it warmed my heart so much
That he would trust me with you to love you so much
I’ve seen you grow to be an amazing young lady
Your heart is so big, you show compassion and lately, you wonder if you have what it takes to succeed in this world
You do have what it takes to makes this world better
I’m so proud of you I wish I could measure
All that you are and all that you do
I couldn’t be more proud of you
I love the young women your becoming more and more
I know that God has more in store for you
Those these times are tough right now
You hold your head up high and know that we will get through this together
There is nothing that you can’t accomplish with God on your side
Did I mention how proud of you I am, this much I can not hide

Relax-Letting my daughter go:

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As the months are passing I feel myself getting sad. My baby girl will be graduating from high school soon. And I will be an empty nester, so many things are going through my mind. Did I talk to her about life enough, will we still hang out and have mother-daughter time, will she still call and text me. Have I guided her enough? All this is so overwhelming and I had to stop and really think to myself. You did a great job with her, she will always be there. Relax lady your daughter loves you and there are no worries. You have put love in her life. She knows that she can come to you about anything. She’s not leaving you she’s just in a new season. Relax mom you have instilled some great things in her life. It’s okay to be sad she’s your baby. But you have done this twice already and your sons are always calling, asking for advice and just checking on there mom right? So what’s makes this any different? Relax, it’s your time to watch what God has put in them come to life. You have done a great job mom. Now relax it’s okay to be amazing seeing your children blossom before your very eyes.