Coming to an end:

Photo by burak kostak on Pexels.com

I’m realizing that I’m holding on to things that need to come to an end. Some relationships have run there course, and instead of becoming better, I ended up worse. Looking back not quite sure why I have stayed around for people. I always end up getting hurt in the end. Some days you feel like okay I’m making progress and other days you feel like why even try. I’m at the way even try anymore stage right now. I’m learning that not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever.

What if:

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

So many people are sitting at home bored out of there minds. What happened to those long lost dreams that you had? You have time to write that book, paint that picture, clean the closet, etc. You have time on your hands to realize your dreams and see what you can make of it. What about the conversation that you need to have with your spouse? What about the journal that you wanted to start? It’s time to make the impossible, possible again. Dreams don’t die, they just linger in our lives. What would happen if you could find your passion? What would happen if you worked on your marriage? Your relationship with God? This is a blessing that some may not see as a blessing. What are you doing with your time?

How are you doing?:

Photo by Vicky Tran on Pexels.com

How is everyone doing? I know with everything going on we forget about ourselves. Please take care of yourself and do self-health care. I’m doing great. I have 2 phone interviews this week. I’m super excited about this since most companies are not doing any hiring at this time. With my daughter being out of school and my husband working from home, it’s been fun. I love the fact that we can do what we need to do without getting on one another’s nerves. It’s nice but still stressful not knowing what each day will bring. I know that my anxiety has been bad but I have to understand that we are all sacred and uncertain. Everyone, please take care of yourselves and your love ones.

What if there is no graduation:

I want everyone to be safe and to not hoard all the supplies. But I’m going to say this and yes I feel selfish but my daughter graduates from high school in May. And to be honest it’s going to hurt if she doesn’t get to walk to get her diploma. My last child and I may not get to see her graduate. It hurts but I know the importance of staying safe. I’m being honest about how I feel. She has to do online schooling right now because her school is closed this week. But this is just how I feel. Safety is so important right now and if I can’t see her graduate then I have to be okay with this.

My marriage:

I’ve been married for 9 years, and I wish I would have had some advice about marriage before I got married. If I could go back in time and tell my newly engaged self anything it would be this. 

  1. It’s okay not to know what your doing everyone feels this way.
  2. It’s okay to be vulnerable with your husband he has your back
  3. Not everything is worthy of getting an attitude about
  4. Know that you are going to have rough times but the true test of your marriage is working it out.
  5. Just because his parents don’t like you doesn’t mean you need to take it out on him.
  6. You don’t have to be right about everything, winning is not always important.

As I have become more seasoned in my marriage I’m realizing that doing life with my husband is so much fun. I don’t need to win every argument. I don’t need to tell him what he is doing wrong all the time. I need to love and support him. I need him to know that when he comes home from work I am his comfort. I don’t always do things right in my marriage but I’m working at it. I felt like love would get me through my marriage, but now I understand it’s commitment. I’m committed to not giving up when it gets hard. I’m committed to doing my best daily. I’m still learning and growing, but I appreciate my marriage more today than ever.

What stinks?:

There are many things that stink, our garbage, your teenager and at times our attitude. I’m learning that my attitude so far this year hasn’t been the best. I had the whoa is me attitude, but there are so many people who are dealing with worse who’s attitude is so much better. I needed to step back in get out of my pity party and understand that what I’m going through is to make me better and stronger. This is a learning lesson that I have failed. Everything in life is a learning lesson but it’s how you treat the lesson. You can either have your pity party and keep going through the same thing or you can learn the lesson. I’m learning that it’s not about me and what I want on my time. It’s about God timing and how I need to learn to be patient in the process. Yes life can stink and my attitude was very funky but not anymore. I’m learning to be content in any season that I’m in. I’m a work in progress and I’m learning daily.

Love language:

Photo by Ashley Williams on Pexels.com

I’m the type of person who loves the little things. And my husband did just that. I hate all things that have to do with fixing anything. So my truck needed new brakes and my tire patched. So on my husband’s day off he did this for me, plus going grocery shopping with me. It’s the little things that really touch my heart. It’s my love language. And when you speak my love language well it warms my heart. So I’m learning to never take for granted the little things because they matter so much.

New Journey:

Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

A new month and a new journey. I’m still trying to figure out what God is preparing me for. I’m still out of work and my health well……. I went to the doctor and I’m waiting to be scheduled for a CT scan because I’m still having issues. My breastbone is very tender along with chest pain not sure what’s going on. So as I wait I wonder what I’m supposed to be doing? To be honest I feel bored. I pray, read devotionals, cook, clean, read, write and look for jobs but I feel like this is my daily cycle. But I feel like I’m in a waiting season. But what am I waiting for? I’m trusting God to help prepare me for my purpose. Or maybe he is preparing me but I’m missing the point. Either way, I’m okay, because I would rather deal with my health issues now than when I start working. What does your journey look like?

I want to win:

There will always be winners and losers in life. I felt like a loser last month. So much has happened to me in one month. I felt defeated and miserable. I couldn’t figure out how to get out of this funk. But nothing comes to those who don’t fight. You can’t fight your way out of depression if you don’t take a step. You can’t fight your way to a better marriage if you don’t take a step. I knew that I didn’t want to lose myself, marriage and life being down. I wanted to win this war that was in my life. I never knew what it meant to be low until last month. I felt like I could sleep and never wake up. Yeah, I felt that way. You don’t win anything not trying. I wanted to fight this dark cloud that was hanging over my head. And I have been. See I’m not going to be a loser. I want to win this war over my life. I don’t take my life for granted or people. So either you’re going to get up and do something or your going to stay defeated. I use to be very competitive in sports and I always wanted to win because losing wasn’t an option for me. I worked too hard training and winning was the only way for me. I’m keeping that mentality right now. Whatever is going on in my life I want to win. How about you? Do you want to win?

Restart button:

Okay, it’s time to hit the reset button on my life. This year I made a vision board about words. Speaking life and speaking good things. So far that hasn’t been what I’ve done. I have done the opposite of this. So it’s time to hit the reset button and do things over again. Just because I have been down doesn’t mean that I’m out. Just because things haven’t gone as planned doesn’t mean greatness isn’t coming. See I look at what’s happening now and not what God is preparing me for. I think that nothing is going to change but it won’t if I keep thinking negatively. So here’s the hitting the restart button in my life. What do you need to hit the restart button on?