If you know anything about me from writing on my blogs is that communication and I are not friends. But we are getting better. Well here is another issue that seems to be huge in my marriage and that is understanding. It may seem easy to understand where someone is coming from or someone else perspective. But for me, it’s not. I don’t ask a lot of questions about why people do what they do. I just let people be. But for my husband understanding is something that we argue about a lot. He feels like I don’t understand him and well I don’t. I do see why he ask certain questions and other times I’m irritated by all the questions. We are both extreme opposites. We are both laid back but I’m more go with the flow type of person. I don’t need to know everything to be okay with you. Your vibes will tell me if something is off. But for my husband, it’s totally different. He needs me to understand so that there won’t be so many disagreements and to help me understand him better. I get it but I don’t. I’m working on this as we speak. Somethings should be so cut and dry easy right? Well for me it’s not always that way. But as I have always said I’m learning.
I’m sitting here listening to the rain and reflecting on my life. Here is a question that has been on my mind. Why don’t you tell your spouse what you need from him? Well, I’m not a great communicator. That shouldn’t be an excuse right? RIght. But the truth is I’m not. I’m a physical touch type of girl. I have always been a physical touch type of girl. I love hugs, kissing, hand holding all of that. But my husband is not that type of guy. When I was hurt I got none of that. And that made me mad. Why didn’t I just tell him that’s what I needed? Well, I’m a surfer talker. It’s easy just say that you want some affection right? Wrong. I don’t know why I can’t say it. But this morning I told my husband this is what I need the most. He was like why didn’t I just tell him instead of always being angry with him about my expectations that he knew nothing about. Well, that’s where communication comes in. I’m working hard on my communication. I love just taking the time to sit back and just think. Working on me is bettering me. I have a long way to go but I’m going to get there. When you tell people what you need it makes life a little easier.