Happy Friday everyone. I hope you have a great weekend. I hope you get the yes you need today. Whether it’s a yes to a job, yes to a health report and a yes to an answered prayer. I hope you get your yes and so much more.
Please be kind to yourself today. The mistakes you made are in the past. You will make more mistakes. But please be kind to yourself.
So I have a question for you. Do you believe that when you are in a relationship with someone that one person loves or does more than the other person? I would say that’s true. I have been that person past and present and I wonder why. I don’t know if it’s what I have seen growing up or just in me period. I’ve always been a giver and I always want to make sure that people know that I care. Maybe in some ways, that’s a good thing, but I have seen it where people do take advantage of you because you are nice and kind. But does it matter who much or how little you do for someone?
This year has had its fair share of ups and downs. But this month things are certainly looking up. I have been out of work for a year and 3 months. I would apply for jobs just for them to tell me I’m overqualified or they were not hiring at the time. It got very discouraging and I would often hear people stating that people on unemployment are lazy and not looking for work. Well, I will say this, I was not one of them. I don’t like sitting at home with anything to do. I have goals and things that I want to do and that takes money. I’m happy to say that I got a job this week and I start on Monday. I had to learn in this time that I asked God to give me a job that I can grow at. A job that cares about its employees and something close to home. God gave me that and more. I just had to be patient when all the doors around me were closing. Not every door is meant to go through and I was blessed that God never let us go without. If you know anything about living off of one income it can be tough. I’m truly grateful for my husband and him being the main provider during this time. I haven’t been on unemployment in like 15 years and I was only on it for a month. It can be a lot and people don’t understand that because they are not on the other side of the situation. All I have to say is that I’m glad that God answered my prayers. We have never been in a pandemic like this before and before people start judging one another please take a walk in someone else’s shoes.
It’s been a while since I allowed myself to just dream. I have dreams but I have placed them on hold. I use to daydream all the time and I guess I have let myself stop dreaming. I’m not sure why I have allowed myself to do that. But it’s okay to dream again. It’s okay to want to do things that may seem impossible. We all have dreams but it is up to us whether or not they come true. Your dream may be small or big, but the point is to never stop dreaming. I know since this pandemic there have been people who had dreams and made them come true. I on the other hand had put my dream to the side for a while. No matter where you are in life right now, never let your dream die. Dream again because you never know where that dream will take you.
We all make our own choices in life. Some of the choices that we make are either good or bad. But life is full of choices and decisions that have to be made. I have made more decisions in my life that were based on other people than on myself. And I had to look myself in the eye and say is this how you want to continue your life? You want to make decisions that will make everyone else happy or you happy? I had to have a tough conversation with myself this year. And let me tell you it wasn’t pretty but I was honest with myself about what I wanted and what I wasn’t about to tolerate in my life anymore. I have always based my life around other people and their happiness and comfort level. Well, let me tell you I’m done with that. I’m in my 40’s and your comfort level doesn’t have anything to do with mines. I’m done entertaining negativity because it’s draining and I don’t have time for that in my life. I want to live a content life. I don’t have everything that I want in my life but I want to be content with whatever season that I’m going through. I have had enough of making sure everyone else was good before I made sure I was good. 2020 was a shitty year and I’m not about to have 2021 be the same. I can’t control the pandemic and I can’t control other people but I can control myself. I have had some ups and downs this year that has caused me to step back and review some things in my life. And as I was reviewing I seen some things that needed to change. Nothing wrong with change but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and it’s going to benefit you. Life is a journey and you just have to be ready for the adventure.
Have you ever taken the time to think about life? I mean think about life? My husband and I just finished watching The Tulsa Massacre. I don’t understand why some things in history are hidden. Who does this help? Yes, black history is painful but to hide it doesn’t make sense. Will we ever get to a point where everyone will be treated equally? There has never been another black wall street. I support all businesses but I try to support the black business more. When will all the killings stop. I don’t have all the answers but I do hope that we can all have a conversation that will help everyone. Black people don’t get the recognition that we deserve. Can we all just say that the world would be a better place if we were treated equally? Let us all have a seat at the table and have an honest conversation.
I’m just curious. What makes you read my blogs? Can you relate to what I write? Do you see yourself in the stories and experience I share? Do the books that I review interest you? What brings you back to my blog? I’m super glad that you visit my blog. Im just curious that’s all.
This is a new season and I feel myself changing. Besides my allergies acting up I have seen some growth in me. And others have mentioned how much I have changed (in a good way). And to be honest I didn’t know what they were talking about until a conversation popped up and my husband mentioned to me that I don’t become angry when talking about his parents anymore. If you don’t know the story well let’s just say his parents and I don’t get along. Well, it’s mostly his mom that I don’t get along with. She has done somethings and said somethings to try to ruin my marriage. She has always been a thorn in my side, but I didn’t even realize that when he was mentioning them. It just felt like a normal conversation about other people. I’m so proud of myself because we could never just have a conversation about them without me blowing up. But I’m at peace where we are so this is a huge milestone for me. And also when talking about my kid’s dad I don’t get angry and blow up anymore. I have moved on and I’m truly at peace with where our relationships are ( which means we don’t have one). I felt like I would always have to deal with my anger when it came to these two. But now hearing their names or even talking about them in conversations doesn’t bother me anymore. The growth I have come a long way. I’m proud of myself for maturing into the woman that I want to be. Trust me this process was not easy and it didn’t happen overnight. As I always say life is a journey.
I don’t know about you but the simple things are truly making my weeks and days. Yesterday I needed to run some errands but just getting out in the sunshine helped to lift my spirit. And I was thankful that not a lot of people were in the store when I went. I miss just getting out and about like I used to. Even though it’s cooler today than yesterday I still plan on going outside for a little while. I might take a walk or just stay on the porch. If your feeling down gets some fresh air if you can. Buy a plant or make a recipe you have been wanting to try. Even though this year and probably month is stressful, find different ways to de-stress and enjoy the day. I hope everyone has a great weekend.