I’m not over the hurt and pain that my dad has caused me. I woke up this morning, just wondering what is about me that makes him not care. What did I do to him? What makes my other siblings more important? I’m hurting for real. If I talk to him again I know that things are not going to go well because I’m going to tell him exactly how I feel. No, I’m not going to be disrespectful but I will let him know that how he is treating me is hurting me in ways he will never understand. I’m trying to let it go, but I’m failing in this area of my life. Let go and let God, I’m trying but right now it’s a deep pain that I need to release but don’t know-how.
I’m blessed to be a wife but what scares me is how to love. I mean I think I know how to love, but not really. I never had anyone to show me what love looked like toward a man. I’m a very affectionate person but as far as my heart goes well how do I know if I’m loving my husband the way he should be loved? I’ve had a lot of past hurts in my life so I have guarded my heart, but how do I know if I have opened up my heart enough to give him what he needs?
I’ve been married for 9 years now and there are so many things that I wish I could have known before I got married. There are so many things that I wish I could go back and redo. But as they say, the past is the past and the only thing that you can change is now. I must confess that being a wife is not easy, there are so many challenges that I face day to day. Like, am I doing enough in my marriage? So many wives make it look so easy, but I noticed that they only talk about the good things and never the things that they are going through. To be honest, marriage isn’t all about the good days, but the bad ones as well. I’m not perfect, but imperfectly perfect. My flaws run deep and at times I do wonder if I’m doing this right. I often wonder if maybe my husband picked the wrong person. Trust me I’m not the only wife who has thought these things, but I may be the only one talking about it now. Let’s face it we all need someone, to be honest with us and well I’m being honest right now. More on my confessions of being a wife.
I’m trying to understand why the president is so in a hurry to get people back to work. So it’s okay to have people go back to work and knowing that there is a possibility that this virus could spread even more. Now excuse me if I’m wrong but people are more important to me than money. Yes, we need money to survive but people are also important. People are dying and people are recovering, but what happens when we get back to work and it continues to spread? What happens when more people die? So is life not more than money? Or is money more important than people? God help us because we are putting people’s lives at stake. I’m okay with social distancing, I’m okay with people working from home and I’m okay with people who are out of work getting unemployment. What I’m not okay with is the fact that people could possibly be going back to work and spread the virus more and it becomes worse. Maybe I’m reading to much into it, but without people, there won’t be an economy. Why are people’s lives not as important? I truly hope that the president and all of the congress know what they are doing. Good thing I don’t put my faith in them, but in God.
I love going to the book store so search out random books. And this book popped out to me for some reason. When I tell you this book is good and it reminds me what God can do through others. This store made me believe in miracles and Gods power again. This book made me cry and understand that not all things are in our hands. God is always in control. I never heard of this author before but I will be getting more books from this author. If you have read this book what do you think?
Yesterday was truly amazing, to be honest. I didn’t realize how much fun I had with my husband and daughter. I got to hang out with my baby girl and watch our show on Netflix and just talk. Spending time with her is so important because she’s about to enter into a new season this year. College student. Even though she may not have graduation she’s going to college. Just hanging with her and her wanting to hang with me I love it. And of course the hubby I love spending time with him, even when he gets on my nerves. But yesterday was just so peaceful and we were all laughing and just being silly. I know this is a stressful time for everyone but we all have to make the most of it. Spend one on one time with everyone, I’m truly cherishing this moment because like I said my daughter will be in college soon. The hubby and I are going to be empty nesters so make the most of your time with the people that you love. The little things truly matter most.
My heart is full. Thank you everyone
I’ve been able to do a lot more reading this year. And I just want to share some of the books that I enjoy reading. This book has helped me with my relationship with God and myself. I’m learning that my dreams are not dead I just need to do my part so God can do his. Needing to heal and move on and discover my purpose. This book has given me a better outlook on what I need to do. I hope you enjoy this book as much as me.
Taking the time to reflect on life and what I could have done better. But instead of living in the past how about I start making the changes now right. Well, change is hard sometimes, but change is worth it. I’m learning who is my true friends. I felt like I knew who my true friends were but I feel like people like to fake it. So I’m done with fake friends. Also telling people no, I have a very hard time saying no to people. Well, I need to do better with this in my life. If I don’t want to do it I need to say no instead of doing it and hating it. Also learning to say I’m sorry right then and there and not waiting until I feel like it. Learning to really listen and be more sensitive to other people’s feelings. I can become impatient at times but I need to learn to have patience with people. Also especially in times like this I need to learn how to have time for me. I need to take up new hobbies and learn what I truly love to do. It’s never too late to change things and do things better. I’m trying to do better in my life. I hope you are as well.
In this madness, I have seen that people become bold and rude. The one thing that I dislike the most about this situation is that people are taking lightly there marriages. I have read so many people talking about once this is over they are getting a divorce. But why???? I’m not understanding this. Maybe you had problems before and now this staying at home is just making you have to deal with it more. But one thing I read on someone’s post is that they love the money more than the man. Whoa, that is so disrespectful and why would you post something like this. Well, just a little background on this lady she is a stay at home mom and her husband makes great money. He travels a lot for his job and now that he’s not traveling she doesn’t like him being at home. Why even marry the man, to begin with??????? I don’t understand why people marry just so that they can say they’re married. This makes no sense to me. But in all truthfulness, if you are having problems in your marriage now is the time to talk about what is going on and try to work it out. No matter what the problem it will not get resolved if you don’t talk about it. I wish people would stop making jokes about once this is over then they are over. God didn’t create marriage to be taken lightly. Please be more respectful than this.