What happens when the relationship that you want isn’t giving you what you want? What happens when you show yourself to care and love someone, but the response isn’t what you expected? What happens when you put in the effort more than the other person? What happens when there isn’t real understanding? Walking away is so easy, but is it always the best option? I feel guilty if I give up but I also feel like what more do I have to give? Have you ever felt stuck and unsure of what to do? Have you ever questioned your feelings about others? Life can seem overwhelming when we have relationships that are important to us but feel clueless at times on how to handle things. This is me and this is where I’m at right now in my life.
Let’s match energy:
I hear the saying that I match energy so much. I’m not going to lie when someone makes me mad I match energy as well. But what if we match energy with our dreams and goals? What if we match energy when it comes to friendships and relationships? When someone makes us mad we bark back and put forth so much energy letting them know how we feel. But what about our personal lives? How about the relationship that you should have ended years ago but you are still in because you want to be with someone? How about putting energy into the job you really want to do? How about showing up for the people who always show up for you? How about putting forth energy to work on your mental health? How about matching energy when it comes to your dreams? Let’s turn all of this negative energy into something positive and productive. As much energy as you pour into a job, you don’t like, how about putting that same energy into something that you do like? Let’s match some positive energy this week.
My co-worker was talking about how she doesn’t like spring cleaning. And I asked her why she didn’t like spring cleaning. And she stated that she hates getting rid of stuff and cleaning. And that made me think about so many things. We get so stuck either saying things to ourselves or we don’t like change at all. But we should change how to speak to ourselves. We should change how we think. But most of all we need to spring clean our minds. If you watch the news daily you know that there is so much going on in this world and it can change your attitude about life and people. But most people are not hateful and they care about others. Not only do we need to spring clean our minds but also our hearts. We need to learn to forgive people more. We need to learn to be more compassionate forward one another. Spring cleaning our personal lives are so important. Is there something that you want to do that you keep putting off? Why do you keep putting it off? Spring clean your friend list, not everyone is meant to stay with you for a lifetime. Spring clean your job is this something that you want to do or are you just doing it for the money? People it is time for a deep spring cleaning of our lives. What are you getting rid of?
How strong are you?:
So I have a question for you. How strong are you? Seriously how strong are you? This was a question that is on my mind this morning. I have done so much better with being strong. I was the type of person to be there for others but would not like anyone to be there for me. But that has changed for me. I have seen true people who have shown up for me time and time again. I’m still strong but I do let certain people in. I need a shoulder to cry on from time to time. I need someone who I can go to for advice from time to time. I need someone to be there for me when I’m going through a difficult time. So let me ask you again how strong are you? You don’t have to be strong by yourself. I have done it for many years and it made me tired. To be so available for others that no one was available for me. It’s time to stop being strong all by yourself. Let someone be strong for you as well.
I love lessons because they always teach me something. I felt like I knew how I wanted to be loved by my husband. Yes, read that again. Ladies, we always have this idea in our heads about how we want to be loved. Not knowing that most of the time men are loving us how we want to be loved, we just don’t realize it. If anyone knows me they know that actions speak louder than words to me. I’m huge on that. But I would tell my husband all the time that I want to hear certain words. But it dawned on me this weekend that my husband is loving me how I want and need to be loved. But since I didn’t hear the words all the time I felt like I wasn’t being loved how I wanted to be. I took for granted all of his actions because I didn’t get the words as well. Life has a way of teaching you things that are right in front of your eyes. This weekend has been truly amazing, probably one of the best weekends this year. No, we didn’t go anywhere or do anything special, but the talks and the connection we made were beautiful. It’s always the little things for me.
This week has been full of lessons for me. So it’s time to do a heart check. See when you want something speak up and let the other person know. They can’t read your mind at all. If you say you’re going to do something then do it and don’t put it off. And last but not least be intentional with your time. I have been married for almost 13 years and for some reason I feel like my husband is supposed to be able to read my mind about the things that are bothering me and what I want. Well, that’s not the case and hasn’t ever been the case. I need to let him know what I want and what’s wrong with me. This is an area that I need some work on. And usually, when I say that I’m going to do something I do it that day or the next. Well, this week I just didn’t feel like doing anything extra so I keep putting things off. But that only made things worse. So now if I don’t want to do something I just say so. I need to use no in my vocabulary way more. And being intentional with your time is important. Sometimes you get so used to doing the say things all the time that you just get stuck in this pattern. So yesterday my husband and I had intentional quality time together. There was no TV we just talked and enjoyed each other’s time. I had some questions that I put in a jar and we each pulled out a slip of paper and answered the questions. That gave us a better understanding of things we wanted to know on a deeper level. Not all the questions were serious but it was nice seeing what we would both say. I’m learning so many valuable lessons that I thought I had mastered, only to realize I may never master them at all. Which is fine with me as long as I can continue to learn these valuable lessons then I’m good.
Ladies I’m talking to you:
Ladies, I’m talking to you today. Why do we dim our light to let others shine? That business idea was yours but you let your friend take the lead. You don’t want the spotlight so you let someone else shine and now the relationship or business is not the same. Ladies, why do we let other people ride our coattails? You know that they don’t like you but you let them in your circle anyway. Honey, why are you not protecting your peace? Why are you letting others stress you all the way out? Ladies, we need to do better to be better for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with helping a friend out. There is nothing wrong with sharing ideas. But there is something wrong if it doesn’t bring you peace. We are so busy lifting so many other people, but how about you lift and applaud yourself sometimes? Come on ladies we must do better. I’m cheering you on. You got this.
Hey you, yes you. I want you to take care of yourself. I see you are busy with others but please stop and take care of yourself. I know you may feel like you don’t have time, but you do. If you can take care of others then you can take care of yourself. I don’t care if it’s a bubble bath, reading a book or even taking a walk. There is only one you and you matter. Please take care of yourself.
Look in the mirror:
When you look in the mirror who do you see? Well, I hope you see yourself. But really look at yourself in the mirror. Do you love who you see? If not why not? When you look at yourself in the mirror are there things about yourself that you would like to change? If so why? I’m here to tell you that there are things that we feel would help us to look better. But what about loving yourself as you are? So many people think that when they change how they look that they will feel better. That may be true but most of the time you need to change who you are inside before you can like who you are on the outside. Who are you trying to impress? If no one then who are you trying to look like? If no one then why doesn’t you like what you see in the mirror? You don’t have to change who you are for people to like you. But you have to change yourself to like yourself.
Let’s talk about grace. The same grace that you give to others make sure you give to yourself as well. We are so quick to give grace to others but why not ourselves? Is it because we feel like we don’t deserve it? But why do we feel like others deserve it more than us? Please give yourself some grace this week, you’re just as important. So give yourself some grace.