Thoughts:

We all go through things and deal with them differently. But one way that I love to process my thoughts is to journal. I have been dealing with so many emotions that this has been a true outlet for me. How do you get your thoughts out? Do you journal, walk or scream? Either way getting it out is helpful.

In my feelings:

This has been a trying season and I’m not to sure what the lesson is yet. I feel like I’m going down a rabbit hole. I’m trying to understand, heal and release my stress. I take ten steps forward to be knocked back twenty. I know that I shouldn’t complain because other people may have it worse then me. But when you keep going through things it just seems never ending. When does the sunshine again in my life? I know the saying that trouble doesn’t last always. I just hope brighter days are coming my way.

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Update:

So I went to my orthopedic doctor yesterday and I got a diagnosis. I have calcific tendonitis. My doctor said that this is very rare, but very painful. I got two injections shots yesterday and 3 prescription. It’s likely to go away on it’s but but it can take 12 to 18 weeks 😭😭😭. If I don’t get better it is possible that I might have to have surgery. But I’m thinking positive about my situation. I have so much inflammation that he is concerned. If anyone has ever had this I would like to ask you a few questions.

Mom: Part 2

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When I got to my second child I was pretty much comfortable. But when I got to the second child I was calmer and I used to take care of one child. But when it came to two it wasn’t that hard. My second child was calmer and didn’t require as much attention as the first child. My second son made it so easy to parent. He showed me that being a parent was special and something that I was good at. We were in sync because he always knew when I was sad or having a bad day. As a mom, it showed me how different your children can be from one another. My first son was so full of energy and my second son was so calm. It was like night and day. But I have learned that what works for one doesn’t work for the other. My son is now a young adult and to see how he is navigating life gives me joy. He is a great cook and loves to throw down in the kitchen. I’m so very proud of him and all that he has accomplished.

Mom: Part 1

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I have seen that people are saying that May is mother’s month. Not quite sure what that is supposed to mean, because every day is mother’s day to me. As I was reflecting on Mother’s Day coming up a question came to my mind. How do you think you have done so far as a mother? Whoa, this is a very loaded question. So I will break it down into pieces for you. Let’s start when I first realized I was pregnant. I was a junior in high school when I first became pregnant. I was full of emotions and wondered how I would be able to take care of a child and continue my education. I was very fortunate to be surrounded by people who were going through the same thing as me during the same time. We would talk about how we were feeling because it was really hard to talk to my mom about how I was feeling. She was very upset with me about being pregnant rightfully so but this was new and I needed help to navigate this journey I was about to be on. One thing that I was determined to do was graduate high school which I did without missing a beat. But one thing that I knew is that I would support and love my son unconditionally. I wanted my son to know that no matter what I was going to be there. When you go through storms I have seen parents turn their backs on their kids. I promised never to do that. Also, I wanted to show my son, unconditional love. Something that I felt was lacking in my life. As my son is now a young man I have seen the challenges in his life and he has overcome so many challenging obstacles. But no matter what I was there to give him advice, love, and support. I’m proud of the young man that my son has turned into. He has taught me a lot about myself and that I am strong. The first child is always hard because you don’t know what you’re doing and you only want the best for your child. I can tell you that he showed me how to love and just be myself. Mom is the best name that I can be called.

Happy Friday:

So what are you’re plans this weekend? I’m going to finish watching the NFL draft. It’s going to be raining all weekend so Im going to stay in watch some movies and read. Im trying to take it easy as much as possible. My shoulder has really been given me some problems. I go see a orthopedic doctor on Monday. Hopefully we can finally get something done. See for sure what is going on. Have a great weekend everyone.

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Storms:

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We are supposed to get storms today through Friday. And as I look at my life I have had some storms that I thought would never end. Some storms come to disrupt your life and some storms are to clear the junk that you have in your life. But I see a storm as a lesson and a way to look at my life and what I can be missing. No matter how much you feel like you are doing your best something or someone will try to disrupt your life. Like it states in the bible in everything there is a season. And I feel like this season that I’m in is to realize that sometimes you have to look at things and people differently. Not everyone is good for you and not everyone can be trusted. No matter what the storm in your life looks like just know that you will make it through. I didn’t always feel like it but the more that you go through it the more you realize that you can make it. Just know that storms don’t last always.

Update:

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Yesterday was my first day at physical therapy for my rotator cuff. And let me tell you it wore me out. I have never been to physical therapy before so I didn’t know what to expect. First, off I should have taken my pain medicine before I went. I won’t make that mistake tomorrow and second well my physical therapist was super nice. She could tell how much pain I was in before we even started. After therapy was over I came home and took my pain medicine and went to sleep. She thinks my neck is the issue also. I’m hoping no surgery just physical therapy but I guess we will see as time goes on.

Book review:

I can’t thank Ashleyleia or Mental Health @ Home enough for referring this book to me. I have been going through a lot mentally and this book was right on time. There is nothing wrong with self-improvement and self-help. I want to be better in all areas of my life. This book gives you practical tips on how to better your mental health and help others who may be going through things. It’s okay not to be strong all the time. I don’t have to be Superwomen every day of the week. It’s okay to have not be okay. This book has been a saving grace to me. I know how to do things differently and I also know how to go about getting help for myself and others. It’s okay not to be strong. Your mental health needs to be taken care of just like the rest of your body.

How are you:

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How was your weekend? Mines was great. I bought some things for my mom for Mothers day. Yes I’m early I know. I watched Mortal Kombat with my family. The movie was so good. So I have a question for everyone. What would you like to work on this week? Whether personal or professional? Well for me it would be my attitude. I really need to get it together.