I’m not going to lie last year was hard. How do you go from seeing people and working to nothing? I miss hugging people because I’m a big hugger. I miss having lunch with my friends. I miss going to work. I haven’t worked since last year. I miss just hanging out with my husband at our normal hangouts. But now that Texas has opened up it doesn’t feel right anymore. I don’t know what is wrong with me I just feel okay not hanging out with my friends. I want to but I have so much anxiety about it. I have anxiety just going into a grocery store. My anxiety has gotten the best of me I’m not going to lie. But how do I calm my nerves? Even though we have a vaccine out my anxiety is still on 1000%. So am I the only one with this feeling? Let me know your thoughts.
So Texas has been open for a couple of days now. And at first, I was a little scared to see what would happen. But when I went to the store people were still wearing their masks. I have seen on the news that people were going out to eat and still were wearing their masks. Some are happy that they no longer need to wear one. But Texas is at the bottom of the list when it comes to getting people vaccinated. And it was way too early to open this state up. I just pray that we don’t have a setback anytime soon. My fear is other people coming to this state and things go to hell. But that won’t be my problem, right? Well, let’s see how this will continue to go.
As a woman, I have noticed that we don’t support each other enough. We don’t encourage or congratulate each other enough. Women get a hard rap. We are wives, sisters, mothers, aunts, daughters, and friends. We wear so many different hats it’s crazy. But I have noticed that women compete with each other? Why sis are you competing with another woman? There is room for all of us. How about we uplift and support one another. Fix each other’s crown. We as women deal with enough to be in competition with someone else. We have so many jobs and we get tired but we keep ongoing. I don’t think men realize how much we do and how much we give. We not only work outside of the home but in the home as well. We don’t get a break and we don’t ask for help. Ladies take some time out for yourself and if you see another woman struggling help her. If you see someone who looks sad encourage her. We as women need a support system we need a sisterhood. Women you are powerful, creative, and much needed in this world.
I believe it was two weeks ago I read a blog post that someone had written and it blew me away. This guy wrote about unrealistic expectations in his marriage. And the points that he made were amazing. But one of the main points that he made that stuck with me was that when you have high expectations there is no way that someone could reach these goals. I had to think if my expectations of my husband were too high? But he also pointed out that how often do you need these expectations met? How much or too little is enough? It had me thinking maybe I’m putting undue pressure on my husband. But the guy of the blog wrote that when his wife had no expectations of her husband how their marriage grew and how the things that she needed from him were meet more often. Okay, I’m like how is that possible because if he wasn’t doing it then what changes? So I made a challenge for myself to have no expectations of my husband and see how that will work. Well, let me tell you that since I’ve been doing this challenge how things have changed. And they have changed for the better. Since I have no expectations I’m not easily offended if something doesn’t get done. But the crazy part is that he is doing the things that I need and more. Why is that you ask? I’m not sure, to be honest. I told him about this last week and he was like really. I can’t explain it but if you don’t put pressure on yourself or your spouse it’s easier to relax and just enjoy one another. Crazy I know but it works.
As some of you know I dealt with some health issues earlier last year. And no they were not COVID related. One of the issues I had was with my breast. So I had to have a mammogram earlier than I usually get it. Come to find out I had two cysts on both breasts and I had a bunch of fatty tissue that was causing my pain. My oncologist suggested the Evening Primose Oil for my fatty tissue and it helped. My cyst eventually went away. But women I know with what is going on right now it’s still important to get our mammograms ( If you over 40 or have a history of breast cancer either in the family or with yourself). I have a family history of breast cancer and I’m in my early 40’s so I must get this done yearly. I’m headed to get my mammogram this morning. Ladies, please don’t neglect your health your so important. Take the time to schedule your necessary appointments.
So how was your weekend? Mines was amazing. First off the weather here is so nice and second I had a date night with my husband. We don’t have date nights as much anymore. So before we went out I needed a much-needed self-care time. And I went to go get my hair done. I haven’t had heat on my hair in years. So when I went to the beauty shop I got a silk press done. I felt so beautiful when I left the salon. I went home to get ready for my date night. I love that we do us and enjoy our time together. And that is exactly what we did. So how was your weekend?
So what’s in a name? My first name is Colleen which means girl. People are shocked all the time when I tell them my name. Why are you shocked I say, well we have never met a black girl named Colleen. Well isn’t that something? I have had interviews where they call my name and are surprised when I stand up. A lot of them have told me that I didn’t sound black on the phone….. Wait a minute what??? What does that even mean??? Because I don’t use ebonics when I answer the phone??????? I know people who haven’t been able to get a job because of their name. I know people who make fun of people because they said their name is too urban and it won’t fit into today’s world. What????????? Do you know how many people who come here from another country that you can’t pronounce their names but they get jobs. This is so crazy. But now names have just gotten crazy like Apple, Blue Ivy, Karma, etc. Why do this to your children???? Names are supposed to mean something. I’m named after my grandfather’s sister who died of tuberculosis when she was 9. I take pride in my name and when people joke about my name sounding white it pisses me off. There are no rules to what you can name your children. I know white people who have named their children names that only black people used so what. Why judge someone for a name that they didn’t even get to pick? Does it make them any more or less important? No, it doesn’t. Before you judge someone because of their name how about you learn more about them.
I’ve read blogs where people have expressed feeling alone. They have said that no one cares about them. But I want you all to know that I care about you. You’re blogs have made a difference in my life. We are in strange times and I know some of you are use to begin around people and always going out on the weekends. I know this is hard but just know you will get through this. You are cared about. If you feel alone reach out to someone. Your not alone we are all struggling. People do care about you. You will make it through.
I’m not going to lie I don’t understand a politician. I don’t know what goes on in their minds. But Gov. Greg Abbott decides that next Wednesday he is opening up Texas 100%. Okay first of all we just came off of a bad winter storm. And there are still people without water. But now he has lifted the face mask( which means you don’t have to wear it out anymore unless the store you go to says so). And now businesses are okay to open up at 100%. We still have COVID going on. Our hospital rates are not that good. I don’t understand why he thinks this is a good idea? I mean do you feel like Texas is losing money? Well, all states are losing money. Do you feel like people need to get back to work? What work? So many businesses have closed or downsized. I don’t understand why he feels like this is something that should be happening right now. I feel like he is trying to kill us. Yes, we have the vaccine here but do you know how many people are still waiting to get the shot? Common sense goes a long way, but I feel like right now he is not using his common sense. This feels like a disaster waiting to happen.
As many of you know I love to read. I did a blog post regarding book box subscriptions and the ones that I tried. Well, I’m back again to tell you about the book box subscription and the items that I got in it. I went back to blacklit.com for black history month. I love the fact that she uses small black business in your book box collection. It’s nice to see the different items that are put in this box. So first up is a tee-shirt that the owner of blacklit made. Love this shirt. Next, we have a spiced honey candle. This candle smells so good. I got two amazing books in this box. Which I can’t wait to read. There was also a bookmark and some bandages for the different skin tones of black people. I don’t get her book box every month but this is the second one that I have gotten and I love it.