How are you?:

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There has been so much going on since the last time that I had blogged. My life has had some ups and downs. But in the end, I’m still staying strong. Death has come upon my life, people leaving my life, and more than that me doubting myself through this whole transition. Life can be a lot at times and I have always been that person to be strong for everyone. Encourage everyone and make sure that everyone is doing great. But yet I have neglected to make sure that I’m doing okay. I haven’t checked in with me to see how I can help myself. I worry about others too often and I seem to lack checking in on myself. This is so important I can’t stress it enough. Please check in on yourself and make sure that you’re okay. It’s good to make sure that others are good but you need to take care of yourself also. I’m trying to understand certain events in my life and how to change or make them better. I’m trying to be more positive when it comes to my self-talk. It’s not always easy and now with so much going on it’s even harder. Life seems to throw a lot at you at once to where it can knock you down. I refuse to be knocked down. So I want to know how are you doing today?

Book review:

I have never read a Nicholas Sparks book before. I love the movie the Notebook so much that I had to read one of his books. Well let me say that this book did not disappoint at all. I love, love. This book was about a woman who had moved back to her mom’s home town when her mother passed away. She has a son who has problems with speaking. One night coming home it was raining hard and a deer was in the middle of road. She doesn’t want to hit the deer so she swerves to miss the deer only to end up in a ditch. She was awakened by a volunteer firefighter who was trying to help her out the car. Once things came back to her she realized that her son wasn’t in the car anymore. Thus begins this love story.

The storm:

We have all been through a storm before. Some storms are small and some storms are huge. Some storms can destroy everything and leave us devastated. But in our own lives we go through many storms. But one thing we always have to remember is that storms only last for a short while. The sun will always shine again. You might have lost something but you will get more back then what you have lost. Life has a funny way of making us realize that whatever you go through. You always come out stronger and better. I have been through some storms in my life lately. But I can tell you that I’m better than before. It’s who you surround yourself with during this storm. It’s how you handle the storm when you’re going through it. Storms don’t last always but we do.

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What’s your worth?:

Why is it that we can work a job and the employer can tell you how much your worth. But you can’t can see your own value? Oh yes please understand I’m talking to myself also. We can search for value and significance in others but not ourselves? Why is it? Do we not see ourselves as important, valuable? Do we not see ourselves as someone who brings something to the table? What is your worth? More importantly how do you see yourself? How loved are you from yourself? How much time do you spend building yourself up? Do you take the time to work on the hard areas in your life? Our are you to busy? How about working on your past to make your future better? Yet again I ask you your worth? It’s not about others opinion of you. It’s your opinion of you that holds value. So how much are you worth?

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Same season:

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Thank you everyone for the anniversary love. We greatly appreciate it. As life takes us on adventures I find myself in a season that I have been in before. I have always felt that seasons are learning lessons for the person that is going through them. But I’m starting to wonder if this lesson is teaching me that I need to let go? I have been here before but a different year and things were different. But this season that is replaying in my life had me in tears daily and well it taught me some very hard valuable lessons. But now I feel like the season is teaching me to let go because it’s not about me anymore. Sometimes in your life, you have to let people go so that they can stand on their own two feet. You have to let them grow, make mistakes, and learn valuable lessons. As hard as letting go is for me I find it peaceful in this season. I have to trust God and the process. I have to understand that it’s bigger than me. I have understood that the seed has been planted and watered. I am ready to see what my harvest is about to produce. This season is like another I have been in but I know that this season will be better than what I have been in before.

Marriage Journey: Part 4

One thing that I have learned about being married for almost 11 years is this. 

  1. I have someone who wants to do this marriage with me and isn’t giving up.
  2. I have someone who works as hard as me to make sure that this marriage succeeds.
  3. I have someone who encourages me and prays with and for me.
  4. I have someone who asks me how I’m doing and want to make sure that I’m good.
  5. I have someone who feels like having self-care time is important for our marriage.
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We don’t do marriage just to say that we are married we take this seriously. I use to want to model my marriage after some friends but they are not us and they are no longer married. We put in time which is important for a lasting marriage. We talk about the things that are bothering us and how to improve our marriage. One thing that I have learned about being married from some friends is getting someone who really wants to be married and your marriage will be better. What I mean is that many women put pressure on men to have the wedding of their dreams but not the marriage of their dreams. Which are two different things. I got a man who was ready for marriage where I wasn’t so ready. My parents divorced when I was 7 and trust me when I say that it’s something that I never want to experience. But my fear went away when I have seen how much my husband was really wanting this with me. But more importantly, what I have learned from other couples is that you do your marriage your way not someone else’s way. Don’t have everyone in your marriage keep things to yourself. Don’t tell everyone your marriage problems if you’re not seeking advice and not a petty gossip session. Your marriage can and will be successful when you put in the work.

Marriage Journey: Part 3

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My husband is a man I have never known before. I mean he is patient with me, cares for me, and supports me. From the first time that I met my husband, he has made me feel safe. He has supported and encouraged my dreams. While also easing my fears. I’m used to cheating, lying, abuse and mistrust from other relationships. I haven’t experienced any of this with my husband. I wasn’t looking to be in a relationship when I met him. But one thing that I discovered is the fact that he is the opposite of anyone I have ever dated before. My husband is someone who not only talks the talk but walks the walk. He always wants to understand all things about me. He wants to make sure that I feel secure and loved. I never had anyone want to know my hopes and dreams. I never met anyone who wanted to be a part of my dreams and help make them come true. I’m lucky to have my best friend as my husband. He makes me laugh and wants to be his best wife. Marriage wasn’t on my to-do list. I didn’t want to deal with all the pain that comes from some of the marriages that I saw before. But what I had to realize is that not all marriages are the same. You have to make your marriage the best for you. My marriage isn’t perfect but I’m enjoying it and loving who I’m doing life with.

Book review:

Okay let me just say this. I love that I get a chance to review other people’s books. But this author lite a fire in me to continue with my book. Let me just start by saying this is a book I wouldn’t have otherwise read if the author didn’t send it to me. I love to read books but what I realized with this book is that I limit myself on what I read. Not anymore. I read this book in three days. From the beginning of the book I couldn’t put it down. Let me tell you I’m pretty good at knowing how a story will end, but not with this book. So let me tell you a little about this book. The book is about a boy named Bryan who ends up losing his friend Deonte. Deonte dies trying to save Bryan. Bryan becomes haunted my what his friend did for him. He can’t sleep and keeps having nightmare’s regarding the event. It gets so bad that his mom scheduled him to get help. After talking with a therapist she says that he needs a vacation with his stepdad. I forgot to add that he doesn’t get along with his stepdad. He thinks he’s weird and is always on the phone. Byran agrees to the vacation and his mom sets it up. So his stepdad, grandfather and Bryan go to a amusement park. But this is no ordinary amusement park. What he felt like could be a good time ended up being something that would change his life forever. Bryan wasn’t a confident person at all. But in the end he gets a girl and gains respect for his stepdad. Not everything is what it may seem to be. This was a page turner for sure.

Marriage journey: Part 2

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Marriage is a journey. The wedding day is always the most exciting day but what about after the wedding? No one talks about that at all. We are all prepared for the wedding but not what happens after. The first five years of my marriage were rough for me. I didn’t think we were going to last a year(my husband did). It was rough let me tell you. The day after the wedding we got into it because I couldn’t read the GPS at the time and he almost missed his turn. I wondered what had happened to the man that I had married? We never argued and now I couldn’t stand him. But what I didn’t like about him is the fact that I didn’t understand him. We are different very different and I didn’t understand how we went from so in love to arguing all the time. Well here is the back story. We moved to a state where we didn’t know anyone at all. We had never been to this state before and we were all that we had. But instead of coming together to work as a team, we were at each other’s throats. Back in the day when GPS was new, he tried to teach me but I couldn’t get it to save my life. If you know me you know that I’m directionally challenged. But not only that we were searching for jobs and a place to stay. But once all those things fell in place we were still arguing and not understanding one another. We are different and we didn’t understand each other’s differences. He grew up in a home where he heard arguing almost daily. I grew up in a home of love and kindness. I’m from the Midwest and he is from the South. We were two people from different cultures trying to come as one. It took us years to understand and start to get into the meat of our differences. And not only that but I go into a marriage where I’m not liked by my mother-in-law. How do you start a marriage when your mother-in-law does not like you for being you? Our marriage was rough and I felt like we would never make it as a couple. But I knew he was the one for me and if it ended then he would still be my best friend. But one thing about us is that we fought for our marriage and we never gave up on one another. We never felt like giving up on each other. I never wanted to use or hear the would divorce. But we used it and it hurt because I grew up in a home of divorce and I knew how that felt. But we have worked through our differences and still work through them all these years. My marriage is not perfect but the story of my marriage gets better day by day.