Just my thoughts:

2020 has been one heck of a year. But it also has been a year where people’s true colors have come out. I have never known such hatred and negativity. I have never known so many people stand up and say that they don’t like this group of people. I have never known people to do things to intimated you, just because they can. What is happening to this world? I feel like things are falling apart, to be honest. Where did all this hate come from? Where did all this injustice come from? It hurts to know that we are all in this together but we are so divided. Hate is a powerful thing but so is love. We have got to do so much better. We can’t have white against black. Police against black. We need to come together and do better. I remember this song that we use to sing at church ” This world is not my home, I’m just a passing through. I wish we could get rid of the hate. Just my thoughts.

Sea moss update:

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I have been getting quite a few questions sent to me about the sea moss. I have endometriosis and it’s very painful. I get cyst on my ovaries all the time. I have taken medication to help with the pain, but nothing has worked. So I had heard about sea moss and never knew anyone who had endometriosis who has used it. But I wanted to try it because it has so many benefits. And since I have been using it I have no pain from my endometriosis and I haven’t had any cyst on my ovaries. I put it in my tea in the mornings and you can’t taste it. I love it.

Me update:

Good morning everyone. Thank you so much for the anniversary wishes. It was an amazing day. 10 years down and many more to go. My husband took the next week off and so we spent the weekend and week together just hanging out. Let me tell you this was much needed. Just because we are at home all day together doesn’t mean that we get to spend time together. My husband works long hours and when he gets done he wants to just relax, which I understand. I have been pretty much lazy when it came to writing my book. I put it on hold to be able to spend some much-needed quality time with my husband. It seems like when things are good something,comes and tries to destroy your happiness. I had to understand that you will have days when the storm comes into your lives. We had a couple of days of just pain but then the sun shined again. I had to learn to truly trust God at this moment. You don’t know how strong you are until you truly have to be. But I enjoyed so much needed time with my husband. We laughed and just loved one another. When you get so busy with stuff you can forget about your spouse and time with each other is so important. I’m currently reading a really good book about different couples and their marriage. Date nights and quality time is so important for your marriage. My marriage has been through a lot of ups and downs and I know that when you put other things like job, kids, hobbies, etc before your spouse you will never grow as a couple. Just wanted to give you an update on what’s going on with me. So how are you?

Stronger:

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You never know how strong you are until you have to be. I felt like everything within me was giving up. It was the worse pain that I have ever felt, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. Maybe I didn’t want to deal with it. Maybe, I thought it would go away on its own if I didn’t acknowledge the pain within me. But I had to, I’ve dealt with this storm to many times from too many people. And yet when the same storm from a different person, came I couldn’t handle it. It hurt too much to handle, it. Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I not feel good enough? But God whispered something so powerful to me. He said you are enough. I had forgiven this person but the pain was way more than I knew how to bare. What do you do next? I prayed and cried and prayed and cried. And then it hit me that the person that caused me the pain was in pain also. I had to look at the situation and understand that the enemy will try to knock you down at all costs. I was going to be alright I just had to understand that how I see the situation isn’t how the situation is. I had to learn true forgiveness at that moment and also that people deal with things that we just don’t know about. When you going through situations it might be easy for the person who has never struggled or dealt with it to give you all kinds of suggestions. But if you have never been in that situation, it’s also easy to condemn that person as well. We all deal with things, whether it’s in secret or not. I had to put myself in that person’s shoes and ask myself what, would I want someone to do for me? Sometimes you have to love someone through their issues. Giving up is always easy but staying is hard.

Book review:

At first I didn’t understand what the book was about. But then the characters and the background history started to come together. It’s a long book and it takes awhile to get to the point sometimes. I feel like this book is very relatable. In the end not a bad book just long.

Trust:

My question is how do you rebuild trust once it’s been broken many times?

Something real: Poem

You have my heart so treat it right
You only get it for one night
They say love is patient love is kind
You need to take care of this heart of mine
What more do I have to do
To get you to love me too
What do they have that I lack
Is it beauty is it lust
I gave you my heart, but we lack trust
What more can I do
I told you how much I love you
I show you on a daily, but maybe
You need more than I can give
You have my heart but now you give
My reason to just wonder what I have been missing
All I want is true love, that’s all I seek
Another broken heart, how long will it heal
Just another women wanting something real

Letting love in:

I almost forgot what it was like to let myself go and let someone love me. I don’t like getting to close to people in fear of getting hurt. But when someone hurts me I start to close up. But I had to remember we all need grace when things happen. Just because someone hurt me doesn’t mean that it was intentional. I have learned to release the hurt that others have put on me and enjoy life. I was pushing so many people away because of what others had done. But I have stopped and let love come my way. I’m tired of being held back by past hurts. I’m letting love guide me for now on. I’m letting others show me, love, in ways I never knew that I needed. I have been feeling so much love lately that I’m running over. I love this feeling. And yes I know that love is a feeling but this feeling I don’t want to ever go away. I feel like my life is on the right path.

My book:

I’m learning that writing is a marathon and not a sprint. I love all the feedback that I have gotten from my book so far. One thing that I didn’t realize is that people want more. They can tell where I was holding back and they want me to not hold back in this book. They also want more information about things. I’m happy with all the feedback and I didn’t expect people to want more from this book. I see now that I’m going to have to go deeper and open up more. For anyone who has ever written a book, what I thought was easy is not. For all the authors out there I have nothing but respect for you when it comes to writing. I may not like every book that I read but I know when an author was genuine about there story and when they are not. Like I said I thought that I had a date where I wanted everything completed, but I’m going to go with the flow and not rush. It’s a marathon and not a sprint. It took a friend of mines three years to get her book out. So I’m going to take my time and write this book.

Love:

My heart is so full and overflowing with love. My anniversary weekend has been so special and amazing. This has got to be my favorite and best anniversary. Thank you for all the love that was shown to me for our anniversary. Some of you know my story about my marriage. And getting to the place that I’m at today hasn’t been easy. But with God all things are possible. I’m learning that if you never go through anything hard you will never appreciate what you have. If everything has been easy maybe something isn’t right. I’m learning to enjoy each moment no matter how hard it is. I’m learning to love even when I don’t want to. I’m learning to say I’m sorry more. Marriage is a lot of work but it’s also teamwork. If you never let your spouse know how you feel or if there is a problem then you can’t expect things to get better. My love tank is overflowing with love right now. Even though we are in a pandemic this anniversary was awesome. I pray that my husband and I continue to grow and work on us.