Marriage Journey: Part 3

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My husband is a man I have never known before. I mean he is patient with me, cares for me, and supports me. From the first time that I met my husband, he has made me feel safe. He has supported and encouraged my dreams. While also easing my fears. I’m used to cheating, lying, abuse and mistrust from other relationships. I haven’t experienced any of this with my husband. I wasn’t looking to be in a relationship when I met him. But one thing that I discovered is the fact that he is the opposite of anyone I have ever dated before. My husband is someone who not only talks the talk but walks the walk. He always wants to understand all things about me. He wants to make sure that I feel secure and loved. I never had anyone want to know my hopes and dreams. I never met anyone who wanted to be a part of my dreams and help make them come true. I’m lucky to have my best friend as my husband. He makes me laugh and wants to be his best wife. Marriage wasn’t on my to-do list. I didn’t want to deal with all the pain that comes from some of the marriages that I saw before. But what I had to realize is that not all marriages are the same. You have to make your marriage the best for you. My marriage isn’t perfect but I’m enjoying it and loving who I’m doing life with.

Book review:

Okay let me just say this. I love that I get a chance to review other people’s books. But this author lite a fire in me to continue with my book. Let me just start by saying this is a book I wouldn’t have otherwise read if the author didn’t send it to me. I love to read books but what I realized with this book is that I limit myself on what I read. Not anymore. I read this book in three days. From the beginning of the book I couldn’t put it down. Let me tell you I’m pretty good at knowing how a story will end, but not with this book. So let me tell you a little about this book. The book is about a boy named Bryan who ends up losing his friend Deonte. Deonte dies trying to save Bryan. Bryan becomes haunted my what his friend did for him. He can’t sleep and keeps having nightmare’s regarding the event. It gets so bad that his mom scheduled him to get help. After talking with a therapist she says that he needs a vacation with his stepdad. I forgot to add that he doesn’t get along with his stepdad. He thinks he’s weird and is always on the phone. Byran agrees to the vacation and his mom sets it up. So his stepdad, grandfather and Bryan go to a amusement park. But this is no ordinary amusement park. What he felt like could be a good time ended up being something that would change his life forever. Bryan wasn’t a confident person at all. But in the end he gets a girl and gains respect for his stepdad. Not everything is what it may seem to be. This was a page turner for sure.

Marriage journey: Part 2

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Marriage is a journey. The wedding day is always the most exciting day but what about after the wedding? No one talks about that at all. We are all prepared for the wedding but not what happens after. The first five years of my marriage were rough for me. I didn’t think we were going to last a year(my husband did). It was rough let me tell you. The day after the wedding we got into it because I couldn’t read the GPS at the time and he almost missed his turn. I wondered what had happened to the man that I had married? We never argued and now I couldn’t stand him. But what I didn’t like about him is the fact that I didn’t understand him. We are different very different and I didn’t understand how we went from so in love to arguing all the time. Well here is the back story. We moved to a state where we didn’t know anyone at all. We had never been to this state before and we were all that we had. But instead of coming together to work as a team, we were at each other’s throats. Back in the day when GPS was new, he tried to teach me but I couldn’t get it to save my life. If you know me you know that I’m directionally challenged. But not only that we were searching for jobs and a place to stay. But once all those things fell in place we were still arguing and not understanding one another. We are different and we didn’t understand each other’s differences. He grew up in a home where he heard arguing almost daily. I grew up in a home of love and kindness. I’m from the Midwest and he is from the South. We were two people from different cultures trying to come as one. It took us years to understand and start to get into the meat of our differences. And not only that but I go into a marriage where I’m not liked by my mother-in-law. How do you start a marriage when your mother-in-law does not like you for being you? Our marriage was rough and I felt like we would never make it as a couple. But I knew he was the one for me and if it ended then he would still be my best friend. But one thing about us is that we fought for our marriage and we never gave up on one another. We never felt like giving up on each other. I never wanted to use or hear the would divorce. But we used it and it hurt because I grew up in a home of divorce and I knew how that felt. But we have worked through our differences and still work through them all these years. My marriage is not perfect but the story of my marriage gets better day by day.

Marriage Journey:

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I can’t believe that on Saturday I will be married for 11 years. And this week I want to talk about my marriage journey. To be honest I never thought that we would make it this far. So when I met my husband I didn’t want to date anymore (well not for some years). It’s funny because when your not looking for someone that is when someone comes along. I was like really????? We became fast friends we spent so much time together that people started thinking that we were a couple. But as much as I was enjoying the friendship something that I have never experienced before happened. There was a serious connection with him. I mean a connection on a deeper level. Not a sexual connection because we were not having sex at that time. But we had a conversation like no other. The peace I found around him was crazy. I started, to think what, if……. But then I put that on the back burner because I thought about my most recent relationships and, I was nope nope nope, I’m good. But something about this man just kept drawing me in. We laughed all the time and talked about things that I didn’t even talk about with other men I was in a relationship with. I’m like this is different in a great way. He made me think about things that I hadn’t really given much thought to. We then went from friendship to relationship and that was amazing. I’m like I have never had a relationship like this before. When I tell you I felt like we had known each other for years. But even though things are all good with the relationship doesn’t mean it’s all good. Well, his mother didn’t like me. But if you have been with me from the beginning you know that she still doesn’t like me. But that became a thorn for our relationship and marriage. But come back tomorrow and I will tell you the rest of the story.

Doubt:

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I always seem to doubt myself when things happen. Well, last Thursday was the last day of work for me. I felt hurt, but at the same time, I knew I needed to move on. This job was great but very overwhelming and not only that there were miscommunication issues. So instead of having a conversation with me, they decided to let me go. So now I’m back to square one. I feel defeated when things like this happen to me. It seems like when things don’t work out how I thought they would I would doubt myself and feel like things are my fault. But having a conversation with the staffing company put so much in perspective for me. Because up until that day they sang my praises, was so happy that I was there but as soon as I have a problem they were ready to let me go. I need to stop doubting myself and just understand that sometimes things that don’t work out are more of a blessing than a burden. I have to change my thinking on these things. Do you doubt when things go wrong or something happens? How do you handle it?

Book review:

So this book had me laughing and saying to myself I’m as badass. This book has given me the motivation to do and be more. Most self-help books to me are not very good. But this book knocked it out the park. So many simple things we can do to get our life on track. It’s not just about money but loving yourself and making sure to affirm yourself daily. What do you really want to do? Why are you not doing it? What are you telling yourself? Stop all the negative talk and start speaking life into yourself. This book is great better than great. It’s definitely a must read.

Today:

My last couple of days haven’t been the best. I’m huge on respect but when it’s not given well it’s time to go. Not everything is meant to last. Something’s are only for a season. I hope everyone has an amazing day today.

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Tough conversation:

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I want to have a tough conversation if you will. Why is there still racism? I truly don’t understand why there is so much hate for someone’s skin color. If you paint, draw, or design you just color right? So do you dislike a crayon color? How can you dislike the color of someone’s skin? I’m not my skin color. I’m so much deeper than you can possibly imagine right now. When do we begin to love and stop hating a color? You can dislike an individual be we are not all the same but let we are labeled all the same. Can we have this conversation?

Constant:

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I’m a dreamer and I have so many things that I want to accomplish in this life. But one thing that I love to do more than anything is check up on people and encourage them. We have no idea what people may be going through. There have been plenty of times before COVID where I would smile at someone and they tell me how much my smile meant to them. But we live in a world where fame and fortune are more important than being a friend. I want to be the constant in someone’s life so they know I’m here for you. Why are we so caught up in what the world is doing instead of how we are doing? I mean I care about if you’re happy or sad. There are so many people who are depressed or going through something right now. I want you to know that I’m here for you. Trust me when I say encouraging you is more important to me than you will ever know. I care about what you may be going through. Just know that no matter what you go through someone cares.