Breathe:

As I’ve been working on myself there is one thing that I’ve always wanted to try. I’ve heard people talk about meditation. I’ve tried it like for a couple of days but was to busy to continue. And the more I have read about it and all the benefits that it has. Well, I’m going to try it and stick with it. Since I left work I feel a lot calmer, happier and all-around relaxed. I’m doing more around the house and loving it. Usually, I would complain about all there is to do around the house but right now I enjoy it. Something about being able to breathe again just feels good. So I’m going to start meditating and see how it helps me be a better me. Does anyone meditate? Any tips?

Change:

Every morning I always drink my tea and read my devotionals. And it was interesting that one of my devotionals touched on the past. If you want to know what your future will be ( if you don’t make any changes) then look at your past. That really struck a cord with me because I have been making it my mission to really change my life. There are so many things that I want to do differently in my life. I don’t want certain things in my life to stay the same. Change is good and very much needed. There have been people who have asked me why am I so determined to change? Well my answer was easy. I want my life to be different. I want to be different. I want my to create a better me. I’m not looking to change anyone but myself. I have been doing the same thing expecting different results. But that never happens. But the small things that I’m doing now has made me so happy and I’m loving this new women that I’m becoming. If I’m smiling and I’m making other’s smile I’m happy. Change looks good on me.

Worried:

As a mother, I only want the best for my children, but sometimes there are things out of my control. Since last year my daughter has been having really bad headaches. They thought it was her optic nerves in her eye. But it’s not. So today we are going to get a CT scan of her brain. For a mom, this is very scary not knowing what’s causing my daughter headaches. I don’t like to see my daughter down and not knowing how to help just makes me feel bad. I know that God is in control and that we will find out what’s going on. But I’m still worried.

Dreams:

We all have dreams. Some of our dreams have probably come true. But what if you have a dream where you just don’t know if it will even happen? Well, my dream is to become a successful blogger and author. I’m not only talking about success as in money but as in helping people. Yes, I would like to pay my bills but I place helping people at a much higher value. No, I’m not writing self-help books. I’m writing about real life and what it’s like dealing with real life. Were always quick to help but we never really give much thought to how we got there. I would like to write all day and read. Yes, it may sound lame but it’s the truth. Right now I’m unemployed so I have more time to work on my books but to be honest I’ve been searching for work more than writing. I know one day that I will publish a book and get to at least a thousand followers on my blog but until then I will continue to put in the hard work and dedication. What are your dreams?

Need to get this off my chest:

Okay, I feel like I need to get this off of my chest. I feel like I blogged about this before, but I feel like it needs to be stated again. I don’t understand why we have to talk about and discourage women who forgive their husband when he cheats. I’ve never dealt with cheating in my marriage, but I’m sorry when it comes to someone else and their marriage we need to let them handle it. Now don’t get me wrong if there is physically abuse then yes please leave. But we have all this advice for someone when it comes to them and their marriage, but what about yours? Where is your forgiveness? Where is your compassion? You don’t know what has happened in their relationship. If someone isn’t asking for your advice please keep your comments to yourself if this is what someone wants to do. Like I said I’ve never experienced cheating in my marriage but I know how hard marriage is and the work it takes. We should be encouraging and supporting marriages not trying to destroy marriages. Like I said just wanted to get this off of my chest.

Goals:

The year 2020 is fast approaching and I have decided to change the way I look at the new year. People make New Year resolutions and some stick to them while others don’t. Well, this year I decided to work on somethings in my life that are very important to me.

Marriage- I love being married and I want to strengthen my marriage. So many people give up on marriage because it’s not how they want it. But being married to your best friend is the greatest thing in the world. I want my marriage healthy and successful.
Family- I love my family and I need to be more intentional about spending time with them. I need to call more and make sure I check on everyone.
Happiness- I going to make sure that my happiness is a priority this year. I’m always putting me last and well this year I’m not going to be last. My happiness is very important to me.
Love- I love to love and I’m going to express and show it more. Just saying you love someone isn’t always enough in my opinion.
Life- I’m going to enjoy life more. I feel like sometimes I’m concentrating on things that don’t even matter. I’m going to take time out to smell the roses more.

These are the areas of importance to me for the rest of 2019 into 2020. I want to focus on what’s important to me then making unrealistic goals. What are your 2020 goals?

Ready for change:

Change, this word has been a hard one for me. We all need to change, but change is hard and has been hard for me. I have always felt like I needed to change for others. But in all honesty, I need to change for myself. This weekend has been one of the best weekends that I’ve had in a while. I love the conversations that my husband and I had this weekend. Yes, we conversate but something about this weekend’s conversation was eye-opening. I loved the fact that I was affirmed when I felt weak. I love that we just laughed and had such a great time. My change has to come because I feel like I can be very judgmental and nonunderstanding. I have felt like people didn’t care about me and what I needed and wanted. Which was not the case at all. See as I keep saying I’m a surface talker and I don’t like to go deep. But deep is where I need to go, because deep is where I’m growing. I had to take a hard look at myself and say either you’re going to change to better yourself or you are going to stay the same and keep going through your storms. I create a lot of my storms because I feel like I don’t want to let people know what’s going on with me. But why? If I’m close to people what am I worried about? Maybe the fact that they don’t want to hear what I have to say. Maybe they will just brush me off. Maybe I’m just scared of honesty. Maybe I’m scared that people will care and be understanding. But one thing is for sure. Change is good. And I’m all about it. I know what I want and I’m going to change my attitude, my outlook on life and the way I conversate with people. I’m changing to grow and let go of this unwanted fear that I have. Are you ready to change? How are you changing?

I'm learning:

I’m learning to do things differently in my life. Yesterday I got mad at my husband and the old me would have been mad all day. But instead, I let it go and had an amazing day with my husband. But I’m learning to move on and let things go. And the reason why I was mad was so stupid anyway. I’m learning what is important and what isn’t. I’m learning to get over my emotions because I’m an emotional being. Time to let some things go. I’m learning this lesson and many more.

Happiness:

I’m learning to create my happiness. And today has been an amazing day so far. I’m learning that not everything needs to be done right away and not everything has to be a rush. Just laying in bed and enjoying the extra time doing nothing. Laying next to my husband and enjoying our pillow talk. Not caring about time and just enjoying my time with the people around me. That’s what my day is all about today just enjoying my time and creating my happiness. I’m loving the idea of just seeing how not being on a schedule or meeting the demands of others will help me slow down and enjoy this life more. How do you create your happiness?

Just my opinion:

I have seen and heard so many people losing their minds to buy gifts for everyone. I’m so confused about why we spend so much money on one day thinking that gifts will make things better. Why wait to show love and appreciation to one day? Christmas is about Jesus it’s not about spending money to make the kids, spouse, and everyone else happy. You can’t buy happiness. You can go into debt for happiness. How many more toys and games do your kids need? How do you explain the stress and all the debt that you have? What about doing something special for the ones you love often. Why wait for the last month of the year? We have gotten away from the real reason for the season. I use to be that parent that had to make sure that I got my kids all the things that they wanted just for them to use for a while and then I’m giving it away. And I had to sit back and think about the real reason for the season. How about giving back? How about making sure that families that don’t have food, clothes and whatever else gets it? Why go into debt just because you feel like you have to be like everyone else? Well, I can’t tell you what to do, but like I said this is just my opinion. I hope your time off and the holiday is good.