Are you living or just existing?

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Are you living or just existing? So many of us are just existing because we don’t know what it’s like to fully live. And yes I’m speaking about myself on this one. What does it truly mean to live a life that you have always wanted and dreamed about? I’m not sure. Some may think you have to have a certain amount of money. Some may feel like it’s how many vacations you take. But for me truly living is doing what I love and going where I want. I feel like I’m just existing because I’m bound to a job that is okay. It doesn’t fulfill me it’s just a means to make money. What would I love to be doing? Now that’s a great question. I want to help others, and do things that make me happy with no time restrictions or make someone else rich. I want to live and right now that is so important to me at this moment. But back to my main question. Are you living or just existing?

Don’t stop dreaming:

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How many of us are living a life full of dreams that we are doing nothing about? In the last book that I read called More to Life. It really made me think about my life and what I want to do. I have spent so many years being a wife and mother that I have placed my dreams on the shelf. So many things that I want to do, but now I feel like is it too late. Am I too old? What if my dreams are just plain silly? This book had me thinking that we give so much of ourselves to others that we don’t take the time to give to ourselves in the same way. Why is that? Are we not just as important? Do let your dreams sit on a shelf somewhere and die. Dust those dreams off no matter how old they may be. And you are never to old to stop dreaming.

Book review: More to life by: ReShonda Tate Billingsley

I love a good book that really makes me think about life and what I want out of life. This book More to Life is one that will really have you thinking. This book is about a woman named Aja who had a terrible childhood. It was full of abuse and trauma. But one thing of her childhood that she loved doing was painting with her mother. Her high school counselor thought that she should be doing something else in college besides art. So she decided to become a social worker. She gets married to the most amazing man and has two children. Her life get’s so consumed with being a wife and a mother that it leaves her no time to paint. Her family thinks that her painting is a hobby or a way to relieve stress. Her husband plans a 45th birthday party with her three best friends. Nothing like a tropical getaway to realize that you’re unhappy in your life. She meets a woman while on vacation that speaks to her soul and sees her for who she really is. And instead of heading back home to her family after her vacation is over she stays an extra week. When she finally gets back home she knows what she needs to do. But things don’t work out well when she gets back home. This book is a must-read.

Book review: Seven days in June

This book had my mind, heart, and emotions all over the place. This book is definitely a lover, lover’s book. If you believe in love and the endless possibilities of love, then this is your book. So the book is about Eva Mercy moving to DC with her mom. They moved around a lot depending on who Eva’s mom was dating at the time. Eva is in a new city, a new school, and has no friends. On the first day of school before the bell rings she meets this fine young man named Shane. And Eva and Shane’s life will never be the same again. Two people who completely understand each other’s dysfunction. But who needs each other to function? This beautifully woven story is about tragedy and love. Two kids who grow up to become authors of best-selling books based on one another. But it’s been 15 years since they have seen each other. What happens when they reconnect?

Book review: Cut and Run

This story was about a woman who got kidnapped by her husband’s son. Yes, I said her husband’s son. It wasn’t uncommon for Countess Annie de Silva to go away from time to time and not tell anyone. But to leave after a mysterious phone call. And all she left was a cryptic note. Gone for three months and no one had a clue where she could be. Except for one person who has known her, her whole life. But should she go after her best friend or just wait it out? What will she find when she gets there? This book was definitely a page-turner for sure. I’ve read a few of Fern Michael’s books and I haven’t been disappointed yet.

Growth:

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As we are 17 days into the New Year the word growth has been kicking my butt. I never realized that growth could be so painful and also encouraging at the same time. I have been learning and relearning so many different things. I have grown in areas that I have taken for granted. I’m proud of how far that I have come but I know that this is just the beginning. I wish growth was an overnight process but what would be the learning point right? I’m committed to a better me in 2023. This growth is going to take me to places I never thought that I could go.

Let’s think about MLK day:

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As we celebrate MLK day I have to stop and think about what he would think about today. Are we any closer to becoming a better society? Are we better as a people? Are we better as a race? I think that he would be disappointed, to be honest. Why are we still hung up on skin color? Why are we still trying to keep certain races down? Can’t we live in peace? Why as a race are we still battling one another? I know that we are supposed to celebrate the life and legacy of Martin Luther King Jr., but how can we do that we things are not changing? As I look at life I wonder why things have to be the way that they are. There is no joy in knowing that the color of my skin will always hold me back. It hurts that people can still use racial slurs and there is no action taken. It’s not okay that your skills don’t get you the job but knowing that they have to have several minorities is the only reason you got the job. When will things be equal? When will things really change? Again I ask will Martin Luther King Jr., be happy with how things are today? I would have to say sadly that he wouldn’t. As you celebrate today think about how you can make a difference even a change in society or your own life.

Poem: Hello Me

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Hello me I’m glad your back
You have had deaths and many setbacks
Girl don’t let people bring you down
You glow and love all around
Hello me I’m glad your back
You have dealt blow after blow
I see you smiling through your tears
Hello me It’s been some years
See things are gonna be different now
More smiles and fewer frowns
Hello me girl I’m so glad your back
Please know that the best is yet to come
Hello me where have you been
So glad to see you again my dear friend
Hello me shout it out loud
Girl, you let life leave you scared
Hello me hello me hello me
I’m glad we were meant to be

Time to let go:

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I have been known for holding on to things that I should let go of. Meaning people, things, and well anything that doesn’t bring me peace. And lately, I have been doing just that. I have been cleaning out my friends list on social media, limiting who I talk to, and also really taking in what people do and say. This year is going to be about growth but also being intentional. I have let so many things slide in my life. I have tolerated people and things that have brought me no purpose. It’s time to let go and walk away from what doesn’t bring me peace. It’s amazing how many times I have told others to do this but I have been slow to get on this train. Not anymore. When you know better it’s time to do better. So what things in your life do you need to let go of? What things do you need to leave in the past?

Book review: The Critic’s Daughter

I had the honor and privilege of being chosen by Book browse to read this advance copy of the critic’s daughter. I have never heard of Richard Gilman so I wasn’t sure what to expect from this book. Well, let me tell you never judge a book by its cover. This book had me in tears and laughter. This book made the father the man human again. Priscilla Gilman Richard’s daughter writes about her dad as the critic, the father the man. So let me get into this story. Many know Richard as the critic for books, movies, and plays. But also as a teacher at Yale. But that was only part of Richard. Richard was a complex man with many issues. But his love for his children was an understatement. Richard was born into a Jewish family, but he would leave his Jewish faith and joined the Catholic church. Richard’s first marriage left him unsure about himself.
He found someone who loved him for his mind and sense of humor. His second wife wasn’t in love with him, she loved someone else who got another woman pregnant. Richard was blessed with two daughters in this marriage. Priscilla was the second born to Richard and Lynn. Then came Claire. Priscilla was the calmer and more comforting child whereas Claire was more difficult. Priscilla was the comforter in the family and it would come in handy when her parents separated and then eventually divorced. Priscilla didn’t understand the reason why her parents were separating, but her mother soon started to share some adult things with her child about her father.
I truly felt like as a parent Priscilla was way too young to understand adult things and I also felt like her mom did this in spite. She shared with her oldest daughter that her father had cheated and he enjoyed trying more adventurous sexual fantasies. Her mother was tired of trying to hold on to his unstable emotions and outburst. She didn’t want to be responsible for her father anymore. I feel like she told her all this for her to turn away from her father.
Priscilla’s mother never showed her children any affection or wanted to play or watch movies with them. She was so disconnected from her children and more involved in her work.
But once Lynn separated from Richard she slowly started showing her girls some affection. As the story goes on Richard struggles financially, emotionally, and with his work. Later in life get’s himself together to buy himself a home and have a stable place for when his girls came to visit. His work was once again going well and he found a new love. Richard once again marries and this time it’s true love, but it won’t last long because he is diagnosed with lung cancer, then brain. Priscilla struggles to comfort and hold the family together as she always has. When her father dies she was able to let go of all that she had been holding on to. To finally find out who she is and what she was meant to do.
I didn’t give this review justice. This book is beautifully written and had me in tears. I have never read a well-written story about a girl in love with her father. Despite all his flaws and his instability at times, her love for him never wavers. This book is truly a must-read.