Grief:

I still haven’t completely healed from my grandpa passing away. And now my great uncle who was like a second dad to me has passed away. His death hit me so hard that I didn’t have any more tears left that day. I know that everyone has lost someone that they truly care about, but how to heal from the grief is hard. I have lost people in my family that this grief didn’t hit as hard, but when you are close to someone it makes it that much harder. This pain that I’m feeling is a different kind of pain that I felt with my grandpa. I felt like I was getting to a point where I was okay and now this has happened. I feel like maybe I don’t know how to deal with grief. Maybe I just stuff my emotions down and deal with them when I’m ready. I know that going to his funeral is going to be hard. I have cried and screamed but the pain of losing someone hurts like crazy. I know that he isn’t in any pain anymore and it would have been selfish of me to want him to stay around a little longer. But I know going back home and not being able to see him is going to hurt. Going to his house is going to probably bring me to my knees. It’s been a year since I have been back home and that’s the last time that I saw my great uncle. I’m thankful that we talked all the time and he knew how much I cared about him. I pray that I will find a healthy way to deal with my grief. Keeping busy doesn’t always work but it does take my mind off of it for a while. It’s always hard saying goodbye to the people that you love the most.