Is the past really over:?

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Is my past truly behind me? And the answer to that question is no. Interestingly, what I need from my husband is to feel needed, loved, and wanted. Don’t get me wrong he does all that, but I need more of it. I need the verbal aspect of this because when growing up I never got to see my dad. He would make promises to come and see me during the summer and never show up. Then I get into a relationship during my high school years that was verbal, physical, and mentally abusive. There was so much cheating and that followed me through several other relationships. At least I didn’t have to ask the people that I was with how they felt about me because they showed me all the time. Yes, they gave me the verbal as well, but my husband is very different. There is no cheating or abuse but my husband isn’t as verbal as I want him to be with me. And right now I need more validation than I thought that I would need. We all go through different seasons in our marriage and this is my season. And I had to think back to my past and realize that I haven’t let the past relationships go because I have been wondering when my husband was going to do these things to me. And in the 12 years, we have been together and 11 years married he hasn’t done any of this to me. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop because I know how to react and handle that situation. But when someone treats you well and makes sure that you were good, I don’t really know how to handle this in my life. But I have to let my past be my past and understand that we all need someone good in our lives. No, my husband is not perfect but he is perfect for me. He’s not Mr. Touchy feelie but I understand the man he is and what he is to me. I have to move past my past and appreciate who I have and what he brings to my life. It’s time for the past to stay where it is and that’s the past.

2 thoughts on “Is the past really over:?

  1. Wow. You’ve been waiting for 12 years? Let the past go. Those people mean nothing to you and don’t allow them to take up invisible space in your head and marriage. I am 58 and alone. I wish for a partner but at this time it’s not to be. Release yourself and enjoy your marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes 12 years. I have had so much bad that I except him to be the same but he’s not. He’s the best thing that has happened to me. Im letting it all go. I don’t want to lose someone this special to me. You will find someone when you least expect it. Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

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