This weekend has turned my world upside down. I love my kids more than anything. And this weekend my heart was broken and angry. I worry about my kids daily. And as a mom, I always feel the need to protect my children even if they are grown. As a black woman, my worse nightmare and fear is of something happening to my children. I have never heard of white women being scared that the police might do something to their children. To have to prepare your children to live differently than other people has always gotten to me. To have my kids make sure that they are on their Ps and Qs while others can act crazy and get away with it pisses me off. To be taken to jail for something that could have been a fix-it ticket is still puzzling to me. My fear is that they see a black boy and that’s all that people see. No one sees that this is someone’s child, brother, grandchild, and future father. They treat our children like they don’t belong. I have to pray harder that my children will be treated with respect while they are giving you respect. I pray that no one will use their power to take a life that wasn’t there’s to take. I pray another black mother never has to go through the pain and stress that I had to go through. This just isn’t a new conversation, this conversation is an everyday conversation in the Black and Brown community. It doesn’t matter how successful you may be a cop sees a nice car and you black you’re going to get pulled over. For some this may go over your head, some this doesn’t matter because it will never happen to your child and some you have gone through this already. When will driving while black stop? I fear for my husband and boys every time that they leave. I shouldn’t have to worry about them. Why do Black and Brown communities have to have conversations with our children when other’s don’t. Other’s can be disrespectful and nothing happens at all. But let a Black or Brown person do it and it could cost you your life? Everyone’s life is important. There should never be favoritism but there is. I’m tired and I’m hurt that we still have to deal with this stuff. When will it end? I know that every situation is going to be different, but what hurts is that no one seems to care about our children.
Conversations on finding and loving who I am 
Change is so overdue. No mother should ever have to worry about that.
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Your are right. No mother or wife should have that worry and fear.
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Don’t worry dear, God is in control of every situation
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Yes he is
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Colleen, I am so saddened to read such an account as what you have had to deal with. It’s like playing a broken record over and over and over again. Racial profiling, as tragic as it is, seems to take the “Talk” our mothers have to have with their sons, daughters, and even husbands, to a whole different level. Yes ma’am this is aggravating and horrifying. I just hate you had to face one of our biggest fears. Praying for your strength girlfriend. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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Thank you. It’s hard. I’m trying not to be bitter about it.
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I can’t imagine it, but it will take time to work through the anger, because that is the natural thing to do. You wish you could undo what has happened, but that is a clear reminder about even though we try to be so careful, it seems like we are not careful enough. That is truly traumatizing. Stay encouraged my friend. 🙏🏼
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❤
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Thank you for speaking out and sharing your thoughts and feelings. I read your blog yesterday and was going to respond, but had to go on a trip. As I was driving on the highway, I drove past a police car a few mph over the 65 mph speed limit. I was fearful for a second or two that the officer might pull me over, but I continued on and he never moved. My fear was all about the annoyance of having to pay a ticket and factor in an extra bill into the budget. In the moment, I, as a white male, didn’t even think about race. I can’t put myself in your shoes. It’s a horrible situation. The best I could do was point out to my son who was in the car with me the injustice of the situation and express to him that his generation must play a huge role in changing society and making sure every mothers’ son or daughter is treated with respect and dignity. I offer my prayers for your family and pray that society changes. Every child is important. Thanks again for sharing.
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Thank you for your words. They mean a lot.
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