The wedding season is always joyful and exciting, but the wedding day is only for one day. The marriage lasts longer I hope. I had a conversation with a friend of mine about her wanting to get married again. And I asked her what she would do differently and she said that she would have a bigger wedding. If she could have seen my face at that moment. A bigger wedding I asked? You have done this once before and you would want a bigger wedding? And she said yeah why what’s the problem? I said to her the wedding is never the problem it’s what comes after the wedding that is the issue. Whatever problems you have had before the big day you will still have those problems afterward. It’s okay to dream about the wedding day, but if you have done this before to me that wouldn’t be important anymore. I want a marriage that is built on a strong foundation not on how much money I can spend on one day. I want a marriage where we talk about our problems, a marriage where we talk about our goals and what we want this marriage to be. I wish more people would look at the afterward of the marriage instead of one day. That one day is magical, yes but marriage is more than just one day. How are you going to make it work and last after that day? You spend so much time planning this one day, that I hope you take that same amount of time and energy and put it into making your marriage the best it can be. I told my friend all of this and she told me she honestly hasn’t thought about it this way. Maybe that’s the problem with marriages we don’t plan for them after.
Conversations on finding and loving who I am 
I agree 100% with you. I dream of getting married again but want it to be small and intimate. I see no need to invite everyone I know and spend thousands of dollars on one day. I hope that I do find someone who is just as willing as I am to put in the effort and time necessary to nurture a marriage and keep it strong for the rest of our lives. I long for that.
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You will find that some one I truly believe that.
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I just recently remarried and I am with you. I didn’t even want a wedding. My first wedding was a grand affair, but the marriage sucked. It was so bad! I told my now husband that he didn’t even have to marry me at all because I realized how we live in a culture that values the size of a wedding and the number of years people remain married over a quality relationship between two people who sincerely care about each other. But he is younger than me and he has never been married so he wanted the mid-sized wedding with some bells and whistles. I wanted to make him happy so I acquiesced. It was a beautiful wedding and I am glad it is over and our life as husband and wife has started. So I totally agree with you. The planning needs to go into how you are going to create a marriage that works for both people not the one day to celebrate it.
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I love this. Yes we are more concerned about the size of the wedding and not if people are meant to be. We want to be able to brag about the wedding but not the marriage.
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