I’m the type of person who can get along with anyone. But for some reason, my relationship with my in-laws has always been a difficult one. As much as I tried to get to know them and have conversations with them, the more it seemed like they wanted to have nothing to do with me. The more I tried the more I realized that I’m not the one who needs to change. But I have noticed that my husband’s relationship with them has changed also. It hurts him that they don’t want a relationship with me and when they did come over it was always an issue. For some reason, his mom would love to make me feel less than. She always had something negative to say to me or about me. And I took it personal when in fact she does the same thing to her husband and son. I asked my husband why do they put up with this. He doesn’t but his dad does. I can never understand how you could dislike someone you don’t even know. This is one relationship that I had to learn will never be what it’s supposed to be. And it hurts because these are my husband’s parents. But sometimes you have to let go and see if anything changes. It has been almost three years now since I have seen them and well nothing has changed. Maybe one day we can come together and have a conversation but it’s up to them now not me.
I believe a change can still happen. You just keep doing your part. And trust the Holy Spirit to guide you through, till they get to be more comely with you.
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I CAN RELATE: The day I went with my EX to tell his mom we were getting married, the first words out of her mouth were, “but what about (his ex wife’s name)!?” I was floored, embarrassed and knew at that moment that a person without enough compassion and maturity to know when to speak (or at least speak privately/quietly) is someone I didn’t need to put energy into getting to know. Over the next 14yrs, I used my humor and quick-wit comebacks on his family to let them know: 1) I don’t care if you like me; 2) I will address your rudeness/ugliness using biblical knowledge with humor and direct bull’s eye precision; 3) The choice to like or dislike me are yours, but I will always TREAT YOU the way I want to be treated. I can say that my approach: won the family over and gained the respect of the majority. My closing remarks were often used on my Ex’ & his family: that’s YOUR issue and I’m leaving that between YOU and GOD!
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I have been nothing but kind. But at this point all they care about is the relationship with their son. I believe his mom wants us to divorce. But that ain’t gonna happen.
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I’ve learned over the years that people can change but you can’t make them change. Nor is it your responsibility. As a servant of the Most High we have a responsibility to treat everyone with love and kindness. However, we in no way have to allow others to disrespect us. There’s nothing wrong with firmly being clear about how you’ll allow your in-laws to treat you and speak to you. But return evil for evil to no one and remember to always keep concurring the evil with good (Romans 12:17-21).
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Amen
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The best way is to be yourself. Give all your love to your husband. Coz it’s him that should matter you most. Be your best when dealing with your inlaws. Don’t expect anything in return from them. One day they will realise you are the best.
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Thank you
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My ex husbands mother never liked me. I learned she had personal problems that has nothing to do with me. I kept my boundaries and loved her at a distance.😊👣
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