Lost:

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I honestly feel like this new stage of parenting is difficult. I now have three grown children and it feels like the last one is giving me a run for my money so to speak. Somewhere between May and now we have lost our connection. I feel like we are both in this transition phase of trying to figure out where to go from here. As an empty nester so to speak I’m having trouble navigating this parenting thing. She’s not a child but not quite an adult either. I’m having trouble learning the boundaries. Learning why she doesn’t want to listen or just understand where I’m coming from. Yes with my son’s I went through something like this but it wasn’t the same. I honestly feel like I’m drifting out to sea somewhere. We have had many talks and I feel all talked out. I want only the best for my daughter and it feels like friends and fun are number one on her list of things to do. She’s not a bad kid but I feel like she has taken this much newfound freedom to her head. When I say newfound freedom I mean that she can come and go more and that her time to be home is later. But every day was not a day to go out but now it is. I’m trying to find the balance without losing my mind or just shutting down altogether. Why doesn’t anyone ever talk about empty nesters and what they go through? Yes, I’ve said it before so I guess I will talk about it and share my experience with you. Any advice for me?

8 thoughts on “Lost:

  1. My suggestion is to let her do her own thing while gently reminding her that you’re there to help if she needs it. Unfortunately, she’s going to do what she wants to do whether you like it or not.

    Instead, I’d focus more on you and what you want to do now that you’re an empty-nester. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care, I can see that you do and I know that your daughter knows this too. But she needs to figure things out on her own.

    And yes, she may do things that she’ll regret down the road, but I think she’ll learn more from that than by you telling her what to do.

    My sister sounds very much like your daughter – good kid, hard worker, but does stupid things because she can. Plus, she doesn’t want to listen to anyone. As a family, we’ve learned to let her do her own thing and then be there for her when she asks for it.

    She’s finally starting to come out of that phase in her life, and I’m sure your daughter will out-grow this phase too. Just have faith in her and your parenting. She’ll eventually figure out what she needs to do. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi, C:
    Thanks for following me, and I wish I knew something to say that would help, but I’ve never had kids, so all I can offer is Safe Long-Distance Air Hugs, if you want them, from Southern California (for the moment).
    Take care,
    Shira

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, I agree with allowing her to do what she’s determined to do anyway. Let her know you’ll pick her up if she falls or praise her for her successes. I say this because I was one of those young adults who very much disliked pressure and hassle from my parents, especially since I thought they were the ones who taught me how to make my own decisions.

    Liked by 1 person

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