Heavy thoughts:

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I thought that I had my fear under control until recently. And this fear for some may seem crazy or even unnecessary but it’s real. Since George Floyd died my fear of my husband driving somewhere by himself has crippled me. But now when I go somewhere by myself I often wonder will I be okay. Not just driving but going into stores. Yes, I’m well aware of black people being followed in certain stores. But now it seems like people are just being rude and calling the police on innocent people because they feel like they don’t belong there. It amazes me how people can tell other people where they belong and where they don’t. I often find myself wondering if this is the land of the free why it doesn’t feel that way. Like I said for some you will understand what I’m saying. I remember a couple of weeks ago I went to the store and this guy had on a make America great again hat and a trump mask. I didn’t care because those things don’t bother me. It’s called freedom of speech and expression but what bothered me was how he looked at me. And then he had the nerve to say I bet you hate what I have on. And I was like no I don’t, but I bet you hate that I’m not bothered by it. You should have seen the look on his face, even though he had on a mask you could tell that he was surprised by my reaction. I played it cool because I honestly didn’t know where the conversation was gonna go, but he looked at me and said yes I am surprised, and then told me to have a nice day. You should never fear any man, but it hurts when you don’t have the power to defend yourself if need be because you could die. I wish this world was a more equal place to live but it’s not. I don’t care what people wear or what they say, just as long as your not in my face. It’s all about respect for me. But if I was to get pulled over our if I was to defend myself would others see it the same way?

10 thoughts on “Heavy thoughts:

  1. I have the same fears. Growing up in the Deep South I thought I was used to strange looks and constantly being aware of how my presence is perceived. But things have gotten much worse these last few years. I worry about my husband constantly when he’s gone even if he just leaves for a quick run to the grocery store. People have been emboldened to show their hate instead of keeping it in and it’s scary. If someone would kill another human being just because someone tells them to put on a mask, what will they do to me if they’re offended by the way I look or think I don’t belong? I pray all the time about these things. What bring me comfort is knowing that Jehovah God sees it all and takes note of how his people are treated (Psalms 55:22). He will end this soon (Psalms 37:10,11) we just have to hold on with God’s help.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was born and raised in the Midwest so I didn’t really understand the hate and fear. Now I’m grown and I live in the South and I truly understand now. My color should never be a threat. But I know that God has me.


      1. The saddest past is the same people throwing hate are devout Christians. Go to church every Sunday yet think it’s ok to spew hatred and call the cops unnecessarily knowing that puts our lives in danger. But like you said, God got us. All we can do is rely on him. He will see us through. God’s Kingdom will end all of this hatred

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  2. I really like your beautiful blog. A pleasure to come stroll on your pages. A great discovery and a very interesting blog. I will come back to visit you. Do not hesitate to visit my universe. See you soon. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. People who have the privilege of not ever having to think about these things can never know what it’s like. I ‘ve had the same fear for my 21 year old son. What if he gets pulled over by a racist cop whose having a bad day? What has helped me is prayer. Praying that God will protect him from police brutality and racial profiling.

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