Marriage:

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Marriage is hard for sure. And in marriage, I have made a lot of mistakes. I don’t always listen to my marriage. I don’t like to argue. I go to bed angry. It usually takes me a couple of days for me to talk to my husband when I’m angry. I don’t like to argue and my husband doesn’t either, but he wants the best for me. He wants to bring out the best in me. But I don’t always see it at the moment. I struggle with really listen to understand. I can’t stand a bunch of questions. My husband asks a lot of questions. Just to understand me more. He makes me angry with so many questions. There are times to be honest where I just wanted to give up and be like I’m done. But that’s the easy way out. Just because someone is getting on your nerves doesn’t mean that you give up on them. Since we are together all the time now. I feel like some days are harder than the other. But it’s about me and learning how to be honest and say what’s wrong with you? There are times where I’m dealing with something and I don’t share it with my husband. I just take it upon myself and keep it to myself. And I shouldn’t because why keep all that stress and burden on myself. I have a lot to learn about doing things well in my marriage. I feel like I’m failing in my marriage. It’s going to be 10 years next month and I feel like I haven’t gotten it right yet. I’m not good at marriage, but I’m learning to do better with my marriage. Am I the only one feeling this way?

22 thoughts on “Marriage:

  1. No, of course you are not the only one. It happens in every marriage because we are all different. If we would put to use the simple verse that is found in the Bible that says not to allow the sun to go down upon our anger….then we would make peace with everyone that have upset us or that we have upset…(not just husbands and wives) before the sun sets… and then we would go to sleep at peace with everyone. But it is not always easy to do, however it would save alot of heartache and sleepless nights.

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  2. LOL…Marriage is a process and a continued learning one at that. My sister and brother-in-law just celebrated their 50th Anniversary earlier this month and I couldn’t be more proud of them because the days weren’t always sunny and “lovie-dovie.” By their example, I have learned to give and take more. I have very strong convictions and I am quite opinion-based. My husband and I are both headstrong and clash at times, but we continue to talk. Without the yin/yang, life is merely a dream. I too am like your husband where I ask a lot of questions to get down to the source of the issue, and my husband is like you, cut to the chase, and shut down my alleged interrogations about those unspoken emotions, the ones he does not feel like talking about. OMG, I have some stubborn ways too, but I’ve learned to look at them from my husband’s perspective and he does the same with me. I know when to back off and so does he. Twenty years of marriage (my 2nd) has truly been a learning experience but a rewarding one I would not trade-in for the world. Without the trials, you’d never truly appreciate the triumphs. It’s a process girlfriend. I’ve learned not to throw the baby out with the bathwater, because that baby gives me purpose, no matter how much that baby gets on my nerves! 😀 Hang in there because you’re going through growing pains. That’s a good thing! 😉

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      1. One short horrible marriage, one long term relationship that was very abusive, many dead end relationships, and a final disappointing engagement two years ago, lead me on a path to discovery who I am and I am enjoying this time, I need a partner who will really accept the true me and not try to change me.

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  3. I do not think there is a perfect marriage out there, and thought on keeping together is to take responsibility and give your love to your spouse and never expect anything in return, because marriage is sacred and it should be kept that way.

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  4. Great article. You shared insightful, honest, and transparent thoughts on what it means to be married. It can definitely be a roller-coaster at times, but it’s worth it. My husband and I have been together for over 30 years, and are marriage mentors for our church. I recently was a contributing author to a book on Biblical marriage that was released several months ago. If you’d like a free copy or would like to talk more, please feel free to contact me at fictionwithfaithatgmaildotcom

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  5. I love the honesty of this post. I got married very young (20 years old) and we’ve been together now for nearly 15 years. First, you’re no alone. Over the years I’ve felt like I’m a bad wife or that I’m not doing things right. However, all of the times I felt like that my husband never did. I was just putting unnecessary stress on myself based on my own notions about what a wife is “supposed to be”. Here’s what I’ve learned: despite the ups and downs in marriage, if at the end of the day you are happy and still look at your mate with love in your eyes then you’re doing it right. Marriage is the union of two imperfect people. Even the Apostle Paul said that those that marry will have tribulation (1 Corinthians 7:28). But arguments and frustrations don’t mean you’re doing it incorrectly it just means there’s room for improvement and there’s always going to be room for improvement. Trust me, just when you think you know your mate a curve ball will be thrown and you’ll have to relearn some things. People are ever growing, learning and changing. The favorite meal you cooked for you husband for the last 10 years may all of a sudden change. Children bring a new dynamic that can alter your relationship. As you get older hormones change, testosterone drops and taking care of aging parents while raising teenagers can bring undue stress and make you go crazy. But if you love each other and want the best for each other you will talk it out and work it out. One of my favorite scripture is Colossians 3:12-14 which says, “…clothe yourselves with the tender affections of compassion, kindness, humility, mildness, and patience. Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely even if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. Just as Jehovah freely forgave you, you must also do the same. But besides all these things, clothe yourselves with love, for it is a perfect bond of union.”
    Here’s a website with lots of great bible based advice: https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/marriage-gods-view/

    Feel free to contact me anytime for advice – JW.service.Johnson@gmail.com

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    1. Whoa I love this. Sometimes you feel like you’re the only one going through things. I have always felt like so many women know how to be wives. And for some reason I struggle with it. I have spent many nights crying about whether I should be married because I feel like I’m failing somehow. We are in the season of change in our marriage right now. And I’m learning your not always going to know everything. Thank you so much for this. I’m all for marriage advice.

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      1. There is no grading scale when it comes to marriage. The state of your marriage is based solely on you and your husband. Being a wife is the same as being a friend except marriage is permanent and much more intimate. Treat him the way you want to be treated. Don’t assume you know what he’s thinking. Ask hard questions and be prepare for surprising answers. Seasons of change will come and go as your grow together. Make sure your love for each other continues to grow as well. And as you work through issues you’ll find immeasurable joy and happiness.

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