As I’m sitting here sipping on my tea I’m thinking back to a conversation that I had with a friend that is troubling me. I’ve been married for almost ten years now and I feel like flirting and just putting yourself in a situation that you shouldn’t when your married is wrong. So a friend of mine was talking to me about a mutual friend of ours who was in town recently. This mutual friend’s grandmother had passed away and he was here for the funeral. Well, my friend and our mutual friend still stay in touch. But she was telling me that he called her when he got to town and that they went and had lunch. So I stopped the conversation and asked her if she told her husband and she said yes. But I said did you tell him this friend was a male and she got quiet and asked me why should that matter? Well first off I wouldn’t want my husband to have a lunch date with the opposite sex and I not know. Because that just tells me your hiding something that you can’t be trusted. She was like it’s nothing like that they are just friends. But she goes on to let me know that the conversation turns toward them. They were talking about what it would have been like to date and what might be now if they did. Am I wrong for feeling that this is crossing the line? Why even let your mind wander about something like this? What difference does it make your married and he’s married. And second of all where was his wife in all this? Is this what people do in marriages? I just don’t get it. I’m not judging but I’m judging. Needless to say, she said that nothing happened it was only lunch. It scares me to think that people can’t be trusted. There are too many red flags in this situation. Maybe I’m just old fashion. What are your thoughts?
Conversations on finding and loving who I am 
I think warning signs to just think.
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I don’t see anything wrong with them having lunch if they are strictly just friends, but I agree, she should have told her husband. I know there are certain guy friends my husband wouldn’t mind if I had lunch with, but he knows them too, so that’s another factor. And I agree, if she felt that she needed to hide the fact that he was male from her husband, she probably shouldn’t have gone. I would never do anything that neither I nor my husband wasn’t comfortable with. That’s just respectful.
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I totally agree. Why hide it? Why introduce your husband to him?
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Yeah, it appears there was allegedly more to this (sexual/unresolved emotions/an underlying secret) or the possibility of what could have easily gone waaayyyy wrong with the flip of a mere flirtatious touch. That’s too close for comfort, in spite of the fact that they are married adults.
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Right. That is my feelings on it to
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I personally agree. Meeting for lunch with a friend of any sex is ok granted the spouse is in the know. She may have been innocent and naive about the meet but the direction of the conversation indicates that at least one of them had other intentions. At the end of the day though, she knows her husband best and is responsible for maintaining his trust
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So true
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There is an old school saying, “Don’t dance with the Devil, you will lose” Trust in a marriage is everything. This is a second marriage for me and my hubby and we decided not to keep secrets from each other. During this marriage, I had someone look me up on Facebook and send me a message. I deleted the message, blocked him, and told my husband. End of story. People have different values. It takes the right situation to bring out a person’s real character. Yes, I agree, I don’t get it, either.
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