Photo by Jill Wellington on

I love learning new lessons, but I don’t love them when I first go through them. Some lessons hurt like hell and you just don’t know what to expect afterward. But this lesson has taught me to stop giving people too much of me. I have/had a really good friend that I have known for years and all through COVID I have been checking on her and making sure she is okay. But one thing that I have noticed is that she never calls or texts to check on me. So during a text that I sent her, I asked her why she never checks on me. She told me why should she, especially since she knows that I will check up on her anyway. She told me that this was my job? Whoa, so this is my job as a friend Ohh okay. I told her that friendship goes both ways and don’t expect someone to do something for you and never get anything in return. I have poured into her and have been a great friend but what I have noticed about her is that she is lazy and doesn’t want to do for someone else. She is a taker and never a giver unless it benefits her. I told her that I can’t have a friendship like this anymore. I’m not going to go out of my way for friendship when you can’t do the same. It hurt because we have been friends for years. She wasn’t always like this. She changed once I got married. I refuse to put all my time and energy into something that isn’t producing anything. I won’t be that person who gives and gives anymore. My friendship tank for her is empty. I can’t anymore. I would rather lose this friendship than lose myself. I’m worth more than what I’m given.

4 thoughts on “Friendship:

  1. I had this exact experience with a dear friend’s husband when she was declining and eventually passed away at 35 years old. I didn’t expect him to ask about me while she was going downhill and after she left this world. However, as time went on and I once again flew into yet another medical crisis, he never once simply asked, “How are you?” I stayed up for hours trying to pull him off the ledge, helping him as he grieved even though I was deeply grieving too. I went to their home, cleaned what I could of the piled-up dishes, vacuumed rooms where my friend’s shoes were still laying out, and on & on. He met another woman, moved her into their house in less than a year my friend passed, and I decided no more!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, I know! I had to look down at her shoes that had the imprint of her heel. Seems like a minor kind of thing, but it rocked me to my core. We battled brain cancer side-by-side. She was the most beautiful soul. I loved her husband ONLY because she loved him and I knew she’d want people to take care of him, so I did. One day he even texted me a pic of their 1st dance at their wedding, meanwhile like the previous night he posted a pic on IG of him & his new chick’s “first Christmas tree together. Um buh bye! 👋

        Liked by 1 person

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