The comparison game:

Photo by Evie Shaffer on

Have you ever played the comparison game? Oh, I know that I have played it many times. I use to compare my marriage to my friend’s marriage. She was doing everything so perfectly. I mean they had laughter, love, they would talk things out, it just seemed so perfect. When I use to come to her about problems I was having in my marriage it was like she snubbed me. Like I wasn’t good enough to be in her married friend’s circle. So as time went on I just stopped talking to her which was fine with me. But then one day she called and all the cracks in her marriage began to become exposed. See she was trying to make it seem like they had it all together when they didn’t. She looked down on me because I was asking for advice and come to find out she was needing advice but didn’t want to ask. I told her that I looked up to her and her marriage, but the truth is instead of me looking at her and her marriage I should have been paying attention to my own. See this is my first marriage and I have grown up in a divorced household. I have heard my mom bash my dad and I was scared of marriage, to be honest. When you don’t hear anything positive about it from your mom it just made me feel numb, to be honest. I didn’t know what to do but I tried my best. Like I’ve always said I’m not the best communicator and that is where our problems lied. But when I took my eyes off of her and her marriage my marriage began to turn around. Instead of seeking her advice I prayed more, got into the bible more, talked to other women who were just like me, and read books to help me with my marriage. I stopped trying to compare myself with others or feel like I have to meet their expectations. To be honest, even if our marriages are good we are secretly dealing with something. I don’t mind when other married women come to me asking for advice. I’m here for you and want you to know you don’t have to be like anyone else. Start being like you and pray about it. Change comes when you make some changes about yourself. Let’s stop trying to have the perfect marriage like the next person when you don’t know the next person’s problems. How about you fix your marriage. Water your grass and see how green it can be. I had to make my marriage the best for us, not anyone else.

10 thoughts on “The comparison game:

  1. A friend posted a meme once that said “Comparison is the thief of joy” and it’s so true. When I say my daily prayer, I always ask for the wisdom to focus on my own journey rather than on others. We all have our own milestones to reach and enjoy and at our own pace and time. Your post was a nice reminder of that!

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