Time to change:

One thing that I’m learning is how to make me and my marriage better. It all starts with me because I’m the only person who can change me. But when I look back at the beginning with my husband the one thing that I miss the most is how close I use to be to him. What changed you might ask me. Change is always a good thing but when you don’t want to be close because you think he will be like the other guys in your relationship then why get married right? Well at the time that never crossed my mind. I had never been so close to a man before in the sense of letting down my guard and just being me. I told him my thoughts, fears, dreams, and all that. I let the wall down for him, why you might ask. Because he was so different from anyone that I had ever dated. He taught me to trust, love, and what true friendship means. So what happened to me is what happen. Every time we get into it I build that wall all over again. My husband hasn’t done anything to make me not trust him, but I’ve dated guys who have made me not trust them and now I’m allowing that to happen in my marriage. So yes I need to change. It was nice to talk to my husband about this, this morning and told him I want to be close with him again. And he asked me what is stopping me and I said me and my past. I need to let things go in my life and understand that not everyone is here to do you wrong. Life is a lesson and I’m slowly learning to do things better in my life.