Pain of my father:

Photo by Johannes Plenio on

I’m not over the hurt and pain that my dad has caused me. I woke up this morning, just wondering what is about me that makes him not care. What did I do to him? What makes my other siblings more important? I’m hurting for real. If I talk to him again I know that things are not going to go well because I’m going to tell him exactly how I feel. No, I’m not going to be disrespectful but I will let him know that how he is treating me is hurting me in ways he will never understand. I’m trying to let it go, but I’m failing in this area of my life. Let go and let God, I’m trying but right now it’s a deep pain that I need to release but don’t know-how.

12 thoughts on “Pain of my father:

  1. It’s an awful feeling. Sorry to hear.

    It may, or may not work for you. But something I did that was suggested to me by my counsellor, to help me heal from a lot of hurt and pain in my childhood was to write a letter.
    Now this letter is for your eyes only.
    My dad was already no longer around with dieing when I was a teenager. But regardless that your dad is alive, still write the letter for only your eyes.
    The difference being that as well as hopefully getting rid of some of the hurt, it may also help you to put some words together to help you say something constructively to your dad.
    Put the letter somewhere safe where no one will see it but you, if you think you need to read this again, otherwise burn, or rip the letter up as a sign of letting go the hurt.

    With you wanting to find the words to talk to your dad, hopefully writing it first will help.
    Also with you trying to find the words to talk to your dad, tips I have seen when reading online about how to approach, is rather than use the word ‘you,’ use the word ‘I.’

    So rather than you have hurt me by….. or something similar on these lines, you would say I feel hurt because…

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    1. Hey girl, keep your head up!! Remember it was never about you! Your dad probably has his own issues he hasn’t dealt with so don’t take anything personally. If you know who you are and God know who you are than you don’t need your father at all. God covers you with an abundance amount of love and It overflows enough to cover everybody who doesn’t. In the long run he’ll regret treating you less than the rest. Stay blessed beautiful Queen! ❤️

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  2. Liz had some great info for you to follow. I believe in writing it down as well. I am a writer and because I believe in journaling I know that it helps you to get your thougths together and it also helps you to see what you are saying and perhaps get some healing just from you reading it over and over.
    Sometimes we are really afraid of how they may feel when we say certain things because regardless of how hurt we feel we still love them or else we wouldn’t be seeking their approval. I really pray that you realize that you are enough and that your Dad has some issues that he has to deal with not you.
    Have you ever thougth that he may be ashamed of how he has treated you and is afraid that given the opportunity you would tell him the truth so he tries to avoid you because he doesn’t want to face up to it?
    My Dad left us when i was 11 and I am 52 now. Now he has dementia and me and another sibling takes care of him. He does not know his grandkids and barely knows me and yet here we are. I had to do alot of soul searching and realized I’m looking at a little boy that was never raised to be the man that I needed back then nor today,so I don’t hold him at fault for what he does not know how to do. I do look to God for what a real Daddy is supposed to be. Hope this helps and make sure to write the letter and keep it until you are ready to say lovingly what needs to be said so you have no regrets.

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    1. Thank you so much for this. I journal everyday it keeps me sane. I’m writing a book and in one chapter I talk about my dad and our relationship, and just writing about it hurts. I feel like I’m grieving for someone who is still alive. I look at myself and I see him. We look just alike. I just want to have a conversation with him and move on. But maybe I should just be okay with where we are in this relationship. I’m glad God has never treated me this way. I cry a lot about my relationship with my dad. I’m 42 and I need to move on. It’s always been a one sided relationship anyway.


  3. You must realized that you have what you believe you have. You believe you have a horrible relationship with a man called your Dad, therefore you have that.
    Now I am asking you to belive that you have what you need to have for where you are in life, nothing more and nothing less.You have everything that you need. You are now seeking after what you believe you should have although, the word says that God supplies all of our needs. I promise you if you need to have this man in your life you are going to have him in your life when you are supposed to but if he is bad for you, you will not have him and that is God given protection.
    when I was young I wanted this guy in my life so bad. I prayed for him every night. I wanted to be his wife and nothing could change my mind. I cried day and night for a long time because God would not let us make it. Years later his life fell apart because of addiction and I sit now and say Thanks God for you knew what I did not know.
    You have to decide to let that little girl grow up without that man in her life and let it be ok. Let it be her normal. You have a father just not a daddy in the same man. Seek your Heavenly father on how to do that for you.


  4. Having a motherly love is great but there is a very strong connection that fatherly love gives also. I remembered losing my dad at a young. He died at the age of 27 and I was just 6 and since then I tried finding love in every Male figure that comes my way but I thank God that I’m healing from all the hate I received from been vulnerable.

    So beautiful, it might not workout and it might but I want you to know that you are amazing in your own way. Your siblings are not better than you and because he prefers them more please don’t resent them. If possible them him your mind and ask questions not because you are desperate for his love but because you deserved that truth and closure on why he treats you differently.

    Thank you for sharing this

    Liked by 1 person

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