I had a really good weekend, but here’s what hurts the most. My dad went to one of my cousin’s wedding this weekend. WHOA. My dad hasn’t shown up for me on anything, but you couldn’t come to see me last weekend. But here you are at my cousin’s wedding. I’m glad that he spent time with my sons but when should I be important in his life? When should I matter? When will you show up for me? Those questions don’t even matter anymore because I have gone on with my life. I still care about him but I don’t talk to him anymore. I don’t want to be around him anymore. But it shows me more and more how less important I am to him.
This to shall pass:
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Conversations on finding and loving who I am 
“For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.” Ephesians 2:18 (NIV)
This is tough but having been abandoned by my biological father at age three, I suffered emotionally and made unwise decisions as a young adult. We dislike things they have done, do and will do but we can never not think about them as a part of us. However, in my opinion, not having a personal relationship with fathers is not sinful. But we must maintain godly love for them and can love them from a distance. I have not spoken to my father in years and just found out this year his birthday is in February. I am 52. My father abandoned us and moved across the street with his mistress and her four sons. They soon had two children together whom he loved very much while watching my mother struggled to care for us. As a child, I saw him in the store one day with his other children and his step sons. They were piling up on sweets, etc. I asked for one dollar and was told he did not have it to give to me. My childhood until I was 18 years old was watching him love other children while I longed for my biological father’s love. The pains will perhaps stay in memory for ever, but we cannot allow them to debilitate our lives, Christian or not.
No one could ever love us like God, and I have an upcoming blog title The Father’s Love.
I hope my response was not overshadowing your concerns and feelings through that meant to encourage you the best way I can, and let you know you are not alone and it is not an easy journey. I am definitely praying for you.
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Thank you for this. I’m just trying to learn how to release my feelings regarding my dad. I’m just trying to figure out a better release. I know that no one will love me more than God. I just don’t understand why I feel so unimportant in his life. I know I still have pain and that pain will heal one day. I have prayed about it and cried about it. God is good and he will always be a comfort in my life. I just have to understand how to love from afar and not take things personally.
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Even with prayer it will take time to heal as you figure out what is best release for you, and you need it. The Holy Spirit led me to blogging and it worked wonders for me to release my pain, struggles and share blessings.
Fellow bloggers have been such a blessing.
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I know that it can be hurtful when our biological father isn’t there for us, trust me I know. But, the beautiful thing is the scripture says, when your father and mother forsakes you then the Lord will take you up (Psalm 27:10) and He says He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
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