I’ve been married for 9 years, and I wish I would have had some advice about marriage before I got married. If I could go back in time and tell my newly engaged self anything it would be this.
- It’s okay not to know what your doing everyone feels this way.
- It’s okay to be vulnerable with your husband he has your back
- Not everything is worthy of getting an attitude about
- Know that you are going to have rough times but the true test of your marriage is working it out.
- Just because his parents don’t like you doesn’t mean you need to take it out on him.
- You don’t have to be right about everything, winning is not always important.
As I have become more seasoned in my marriage I’m realizing that doing life with my husband is so much fun. I don’t need to win every argument. I don’t need to tell him what he is doing wrong all the time. I need to love and support him. I need him to know that when he comes home from work I am his comfort. I don’t always do things right in my marriage but I’m working at it. I felt like love would get me through my marriage, but now I understand it’s commitment. I’m committed to not giving up when it gets hard. I’m committed to doing my best daily. I’m still learning and growing, but I appreciate my marriage more today than ever.
Conversations on finding and loving who I am 
You are right about commitment and not having to tell your husband all the times that he is wrong. May God bless you!
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Thank you for sharing this vulnerable post! Your post resonated with me as I thought about my own marriage. I loved how you put that you thought “love would get you through your marriage, but now I understand it’s commitment” – this is so true. Also, the commitment to do your best – what a beautiful reminder for us all. Many blessings on your marriage!
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We are all still learning in our marriages. Praying for your continued insight and improvement in all desired areas of your life.
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Great read! I’m happy you’re learning these things while still in the marriage. Me and my ex husband didn’t get it until this went south. Now we are so much better at communicating and thinking about saying I do again. I wish you and your husband a lifetime together in bliss!
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Thank you. I hope you two do say I do again. Marriage is something special
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A very astute insight on the gift of marriage. Amazing that The first miracle of Jesus was at the wedding in Cana. Says a lot. Life was meant to be made whole in marriage! We have so very many misconceptions to begin, you open them up and give a place and time for reflection.
Homework (or should I say “self work”)
1. What is your partners favorite color? Even if you know it; ask! A purse, a shirt, an iced muffin, a drink in that color will make a difference 😍
2. What is your partners greatest achievement (besides finding you)?
3. Your partners greatest weakness/fault? How do you shore it up? Support them in this area?
4. Always things to talk about: bills, work, friends, church… When was the last time you said and or cared to say “How was your day?” Really asking and caring AND listening.
5. What do YOU want? Are they meeting your needs and/or desires? Have you truly expressed it (and not just given ‘clues.’) What do they want? Have you asked?
Girl/Boy, we could go on! But we have mouths, voices, hands for signing and emotions for expression. Express on! You are alive, and so are they!
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I’m up for the challenge
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