Last year ended not very good for me. I felt like I wanted to end my marriage. I felt like separation was the best option. But something was tugging at my heart about why I wanted to leave my husband. I didn’t want to face the truth about my feelings so I placed the blame all on him when all of it wasn’t his fault. I felt like being away from him would make things better, but it wouldn’t because I hadn’t dealt with what I’m going through. Why was I so quick to throw in the towel of my marriage? My marriage wasn’t horrible, it was nice. Do we argue yes, but who doesn’t? My anger and feelings of rejection I took out on him. What others had done to me I took out on him. I left the pain that others had caused me to want to end my marriage. How stupid is that?????? Very if you ask me. I was mad at the wrong person and wanted to leave the wrong person because people had left me. How was that fair? I said some mean and horrible things to my husband in anger because of how others treated me. I’m very thankful to have a patient husband that doesn’t give up on me. I was ready to end 9 years of marriage because of what other people had done to me. I’m learning. I’m not perfect in marriage but I’m trying. I realize that would have been the worse decision that I could have ever made if I had gone through with it. The moral of this post is married couples please look deeper at what the real issue could be. Let’s stop divorcing over things that won’t matter two days from now. You’re not going to agree on everything, you’re not gonna like something the other person loves. But dig deeper into your heart and see what your true issue might be. I have a heart issue that I’m dealing with because I have let so many cause me pain. Don’t let your heart issue cost you your marriage.
Conversations on finding and loving who I am 
Thank you so much for your transparency. Your post will be so beneficial to others struggling in their marriage.
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Thank you so much. That is my hope.
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This is a wonderful post that should be shared with the world. Satan was tugging at your heart to break up one of God’s institution—marriage. The other one is the church. I am definitely going to keep you in prayer to continue making positive steps. I am cheering for your continuing progress.
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Satan was ready to take me out, but God.
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Often people end friendships, relationships and marriages due to their own traumas not being dealt with. Love and happiness has to come from within. The work will always start with you and then everything else around you begins to change and heal. I encourage all to endure self healing through journaling, self help books, therapy and mindfulness activities. My blog gives lots of different strategies to implement. I work as a child and youth practitioner for the last 27 years. All our traumas from birth must be healed to have a positive outcome to this life journey. At some point we all have to deal with it to be able to be offer the best of ourselves. Also pick up a hobby: could be painting, writing letters but something that soothes the soul and heart!!!! You have done he greatest discovery that it is within you to make those changes and not all on your husband!!!!! Good luck on this self discovery journey!!!!💗💗💗
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Sorry for the mishaps in some of my sentences, I wrote this quickly before I get caught in my errands!!!! Happy Saturday!!
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Thank you. I’ve been journaling, praying, mediating and reading books. I know that I have a long way to go and I’m prepared to do the work. I will definitely read your blog. Thank you for the kind words.
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Please do not hesitate to ask me for any suggestions, recommendations!!! All the very best!!
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Thank you. I definitely will
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Wow. Wisdom!!! 💯
Really loved how you ended it. There is an adage in my dialect and the summary is “regardless of how and where you came from (home for example) you owe it to yourself to have a rebirth of yourself – change your mindset and along it rightly)
Loved your transparency too. 🤗 Your home is blessed.
And I really pray families take to this – there is so many divorce cases and its growing. 😪
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❤❤❤
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