For some strange reason, I felt like when 2020 arrived I would get it together. But I haven’t. I took a long hard look at myself this morning and there was a sadness that I have never seen before from me. Why am I so sad. What’s going on. I had to ask myself this tough question. I feel like I’m shutting down from life. I don’t want to deal with my marriage, I’m too embarrassed to talk about how I feel to others. I know every married couple has had issues before. But for me, I don’t know how to repair what is broken. To be honest I don’t even know where to start. I want to avoid conversation with my husband. I just want to be left alone because I don’t have any answers on how to deal with our issues. I know for some your thinking well that’s the problem you’re not talking. Maybe or maybe not. But I feel like my heart is shutting down and I just don’t want to deal with the issues anymore. I need to understand why I’m shutting down, but right now I have no clue.
Conversations on finding and loving who I am 
Awww… hang in there! You don’t need to have the solutions… just talk… take a small step to keep yourself from sinking deeper and feeling even more overwhelmed… hope this helps in some way!
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It does thank you
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For me it begins with my identity as a child of God
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Marriage is His first institution
and I suggest start having conversations with the Lord on how you feel, ask for guidance.
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Marriage is God’s first institution, start with prayers…
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The greatest commandment is to first love God, after that Love ourselves and then love others equally. If your love for God or for yourself is not what it should be, then loving your husband will feel almost impossible. Which will continuously make you feel like escaping to what or wherever. And please don’t forget that Love is not so much a feeling then it is a choice. When you decided to marry your husband, you made that choice, but if you loose sight of the source which is God, almost everything will start crumbling…
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