It’s time to get real with me Part 1:

When I look in the mirror I don’t recognize the person staring back at me. Who is this person? That’s not my reflection, is it? Who have I become? Where did I lose myself? How do I get back to see my reflection in the mirror again? I’ve lost me and love for me and life. What has changed? Where did I begin to lose sight of who I am? Where do I even begin to put the pieces of this puzzle back together? I have more questions than I do have answers. Time to get real and knock some walls down in my life. It’s time that I get honest with myself. No matter how ugly it gets I’m about to do the work. They say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. But society has a way of making you not feel beautiful enough. There seem to be so many people getting plastic surgery that being real isn’t normal anymore. I’ve always been tall, skinny and some would say the perfect weight. But all that has always made me so insecure. I wanted to have the curvy body, with big boobs and ass. I wanted to wear clothes that fit in all the right places. But that was never the case. I didn’t start gaining weight until I became pregnant with my first child. But that didn’t last long because as soon as I had him I went back to the same size. I’ve always been self-conscious of how I look. People have always said that I’m pretty and stuff. But that never meant much to me if I didn’t believe it myself. That’s the problem I don’t believe what I’m told. What is beautiful? Who decides who’s beautiful or not? Why can’t I set my standard of beautiful? But as I sit and reflect I’ve noticed that if what other people say about you don’t add up to what you say about you it doesn’t mean much. Why do we believe the lies that we tell ourselves? Why don’t we put much value on ourselves? Does another person’s opinion matter that much? If it does it shouldn’t. We need to be confident in who we are at all times. We need to believe the best in ourselves. We are worth so much more than we give ourselves credit for.