Today my heart is heavy. My emotions are all over the place. I went to church today and the sermon spoke directly to me. When I tell you I felt the spirit move in me. Yesterday was my husband birthday and I wasn’t nice to him at all yesterday. I complained and had the biggest attitude toward him. How hard is it to pick a place that you want to eat???????? Was that what’s really bothering me? No, it’s not but I took my feelings out on him on his birthday. See I have a heart issue. My heart is hurting. I have always carried the load and burden for everyone, and that’s okay but there are times when I want to fix things for others. And when I can’t fix them I get mad. I pray about it often and there are times when I try to take it upon myself to make things happen. I want everyone happy even when I’m not happy. I want everyone to have friends and know what real friendship is like. But as a wife, I struggle to be there for my husband on his same issues. The issues that he deals with I find so simple to solve but it’s not that easy for him. I don’t have the compassion or patience that I should have. I’ve been married for almost 9 years and I still struggle with my role. What I should and shouldn’t do. I let my husband down in a big way, instead of being a friend and a listening ear, I was a source of complaining and nagging. I don’t know what it’s like to deal with other people’s issues. But I know what it’s like to deal with mines and I would want someone to listen to me and be there for me no matter what. I don’t understand why I’m so impatient with him. I want to fix everything but it’s not my job. I have to give it to God and let him do the work. I need to be more supportive, encouraging and more patient when it comes to matters of the heart with my husband. I need to really do some heart searching on myself and dig up the unwanted roots in my heart.