My Sunday feelings:

I’m a feeling person by nature. I rely on my feelings a lot, but I have gotten out of the habit of relying on my feelings because your feelings are not always right. But here is where my issue lies. Right now in this season of my life, I need to feel loved. I mean I want to hear I love you, I want to get surprised, I want you to hold me for no reason, pray for me just because. Things like that. But I feel like I’m getting that, but not enough. Well, last night I had to take a step back and understand that people can’t give me all that I need all the time. It’s not their job. I’m trying to have people fulfill the void spaces in my life that only God can. I want people to do what only God can do. See there is a disconnect in my life, a void, a longing for something that only God can see and fill. No one can love me the way that I want to be loved except for God. People can try but they will always fall short in my eyes. I hold people to a standard that I should only be giving to God. I want you to understand that we as humans can only do so much and be so much. And what you expect someone to do sometimes can’t be done because they are not God. This was a hard lesson for me. I felt like if you weren’t meeting my standard of love, then you didn’t love me or your love was plain. Yes, I said plain as in you just use the word but the word was a substitution for the real thing. Or you just wanted me to have what you felt like I needed. But only God can feel me with unconditional love where I never have to question anything about his love. See I have to recognize people for who they are. It’s not that they were failing me in love, but me wanting them to give me love like only God can.

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