Have you ever dated someone who you really cared about, but for some reason you wanted to go back to your ex? Yeah I’ve had those thoughts before.  While I was dating my husband there were times when my ex and I would talk and we would reminisce about are past. Why not go back to what your familiar with right? Ummm no they are an ex for a reason right? To be honest I was afraid to be with someone who genuinely treated me right. I was not sure what that looked like.  But I wanted to know what it felt like to have someone who is all in for me. So my husband who was my boyfriend at the time we get married. And one day my husband and I got into a bad argument and I felt like why am I with him, fuck this do he know how many men are in line waiting for him to fuck up so they can move in. No lie the same day I get 1 text from my ex and 1 Facebook message from my ex. Okay red flag right there you should not entertain any man while you are married, but me I didn’t listen to that little voice inside me. I loved the fact that they missed me and wanted me back.  My mind was like why am I with my husband when I can get back with my ex’s. Don’t get wrong I’m not the baddest chick in the world, nor do I wanna be. But I knew getting a man never has been an issue for me. But being in my anger I felt justified about entertaining there conversations. But let me tell you this, something strong in me was like if they were so great then why are you not with them? Did y’all never argue? Did you ever talk to other men while you were mad at them? What’s so different now? I really had to put myself in time out, because what I was doing was all the way wrong. They didn’t treat me the way my husband does. They didn’t want to understand me.  After all they did to me,but I’m entertaining their conversations. I cried for awhile about this because I loved my husband and didn’t want to lose him. I entertained there conversations for a week and then I had to shut it down. My feelings and emotions were all over the place. I needed direction and forgiveness. Even though the conversations were innocent and no cheating happened I still felt like I cheated emotionally. When you get in a vulnerable position you can’t turn to the opposite sex. I should have talked to my husband about the argument that we had and clear the air. I have not put myself in that position again. It’s not a good feeling at all. I’ve been cheating on more than once, twice, three times. You get the point. Don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want your spouse to do to you. Speak honest and truthful about what’s going on.  If I knew then what I know now, it would have never happened.

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