Things I wish I would have known before I got married:

It’s interesting how you get advice when your graduate from high school and college, when your pregnant and planning your wedding. But it’s rare that you receive any advice when you are about to get married. My husband and I didn’t go to marriage counseling before we got married. I have been married for 8 years, but their is so much advice that I wish I would have gotten before my big day. I wish I knew that you can be a wife and still be your spouse friend. For some reason I felt like I had to be someone different then who my husband married. It’s okay to still be friends, matter of fact this is your best friend. It’s okay to not know what your doing. I felt like when I got married I had to know everything it is to know about marriage, but that’s not true at all. You can’t know everything about something that you have never done. Don’t get caught up in the title “wife”. That word wife stressed me out in the beginning of my marriage. I didn’t know how to be a wife and was trying to find my way as one. Your marriage won’t be the same as everyone else’s marriage. I was trying so hard to model my marriage after other people’s marriage. That is a huge NO- NO, please make your marriage your own. Being something that your not and doing things that you don’t like doesn’t make for a great marriage. Communication is so important. Please know that I’m a surface talker and my husband is a deep thinker. We communicate in totally different ways. It wasn’t working when we first got married. Their was so many arguments but now are communication is so much better. It’s okay to make mistakes everyone does. No on is perfect. It’s okay to see a marriage counselor or a counselor period. Just because you seek counseling doesn’t mean that it’s the last resort before you divorce. We wanted to work on ourselves and are marriage. Please don’t tell your friends all your marriage problems. Trust me your spouse wants to know how you feel and what you are going through. There is a lot of lessons that I have learned and mistakes that I have made. So now when people are getting married I’m able to dish out some good advice along with congratulations.

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